Water's October, Right?: House Fanfiction Discussion
This thread is for questions or discussion about House fanfic (hope this is okay & the mods don't ban me!) Your starter question for 100 - what fanon cliches about House & Wilson (or House/Wilson) drive you nuts?

The tube of lube!

The older man/the younger man!

Second for the older man/younger man. Wilson using his key in a cliche'd manner. The endless grabbing of chips. The diagnostition/oncologist (we all know Wilson is an Oncolgist!!) ;D

Routinely calling each other 'Greg' & 'James' (vomit). Or even worse, 'Gregg'

Azure orbs and chocolate doe eyes.

Yeah, otherwise good fics are at least somewhat spoiled by "Greg" and "James". And House only uses "Jimmy" in comtempt. (But never "James"! Wilson using his key in a cliche'd manner. ...You can do that? Yeah, Hard for me to describe, but sometimes Wilson just lets himself into the apartment, and sometimes it seems like such a cliche'

Biggest cliche to me is simply the name 'Jimmy'. House does not call Wilson Jimmy all the time - he hardly calls him Wilson. Hey, you?! Its true, Wilson yelling House is routine, House actually calling Wilson anything directly is unusual. Two of my fav "mock the cliche" fics are cryptictac's Four Ways House's Cane Clatters, And One Way It Doesn't http://cryptictac.livejournal.com/146845.html and DIY Sheep's Ode to Love http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2986319/1/An_Ode_to_Love Oh, I forgot - and The Mysterious Tube of Lube http://www.squidge.org/housefanfiction/archive/7/themysterious.html Anyone else got others they particularly like? And tell me more about Wilson's key!

House being written as if he's a child and Wilson taking care of him. Guys, House is an adult. He did manage to feed himself for all those years before he learned that Wilson could cook. PLOT Device story excluded, natch.

- Them living on takeout, especially of the Chinese variety. It's a wonder they don't have scurvy. - Explosive sex. Or I guess "fandom ideals of sex". They're older guys, ya know? Stamina kind of lags the older you get. - Wilson's ties, and House's comments about Wilson's ties. - I'll go with the Jimmy thing, too. Argh. - And the Greg/James thing. - Wilson's parents being sweet and loving and completely accepting of House, and vice versa for House's parents towards Wilson. - Epithets. - House wearing band t-shirts - eg, Rolling Stones. Has he ever actually worn a band t-shirt on the show? I don't recall that he has. - Cuddy's "funbags". There are loads of other nicknames for breasts House could expound upon, be that to Wilson or anyone else. - Anal sex "only hurting for a minute, but then it started to feel really good", especially first-time. - Declarations of love. I'm not saying this couldn't happen; it's the execution of it and the IC/OOC issues that come with that. Not to mention the situational likelihood. "I love you, Jimmy" - just, no. - Death fics. Especially the overwrought, melodramatic bordering on just plain corny death fics. Bonus points if it involves aforementioned declarations of love. And all that said, I'll be the first to raise my hand and sheepishly say I am guilty of some of these myself. I think everybody is in some way, especially when you're starting out with writing House fanfic and aren't completely clued up on what's considered cliche or not. (I hope I'm doing this right. I've never posted/commented to a forum like this before.)

Oh so many good ones, Ticcy. I like explosive sex, mostly (sounds messy--in the good way) if it's well-written. Yes, yes, very subjective, I know. Still, there's quite the continuum between "completely realistic" and "pornstartastic". And I--and my fics--probably fall a lot closer to the fantasy end of the scale. Everyone gets off and usually enjoys it quite a bit. Still, at the same time, I like to put in details showing how everybody ain't all that, and I try not to forget House's leg in terms of the acrobatic positions everybody tries for. There's another pet peeve, then--poorly written sex scenes, be they explosive or not. They're a necessary evil, though, 'cause how else are we all going to learn?