Thanks Lully (mentally bolding for fear of strange formatting). Let's hope we hit the next page soon. ETA BINGO!

FYI TO ALL, if you get a page shift like that it means that one of the posts just before or where the shift starts has stray tags in it (usually quote tags that aren't opened or closed properly). The problem will automatically correct on the next full page, but if you spot the problem with a post of yours, please go back to your post, check if you have redundant tags & edit them out if they are there. Thanks. ETA - Don't worry if you can't - I'll fix it when I get online if needed, it just may not happen immediately.

Have you ever written a story you were too embarrassed to have beta’d or to post? I’m nearing the end of writing a story and it suddenly occurred to me that I’ll be begging someone to beta my bad blowjob fic. For me, it’s not actually the subject matter but rather because it’s my first attempt at drawn out descriptions and I chose a first time blowjob of all things. :oops:

JDR, I'll beta! Might be a 24-hour turnaround due to RL stuff, but I'll definitely read it. It's funny because some of the stories I've written that I think everyone will find ridiculous (e.g., Wilson gets semen up his nose) people have enjoyed. So you never know. Zulu, on the question of how to make a decent story out of a cliche, two suggestions for newbies: 1) RUTHLESSLY keep the characters in-character. "House and Cameron get married" fics (just to pick an example; works for "H & W get married" too) get mocked more for House being a simpering romantic fool than for the actual story, as far as I can tell. 2) Think of something different and interesting, yet realistic (or cracky-realistic), that could happen related to the topic. Doesn't have to be over-the-top. Condemned Man by Slipstream is an alternate ending to Daddy's Boy, in which House actually went to dinner with his parents. The unique twist here: House takes steps (well, one) to keep the peace. (H/W friendship)

what fanon cliches about House & Wilson (or House/Wilson) drive you nuts? One word: Pancakes. Drop it with the pancake mentions already, I'm begging you. I've never understood the need to describe House's eyes in the first place. We all know what they look like! You'd be surprised. People get House and Wilson's eye colours right, and Foreman if he's in the story. But Cuddy, Chase and Cameron's eyes can be green or even brown. There's nothing more fetid than reading a sex that is described in the most graphically disturbing manner. Less is usually more, I find. Absolutely. The story that got me into slash was just kissing, and it remains the most erotic H/W story I've ever read. mpreg are four scary letters, but here are three scary ones: RPS. Someone upthread mentioned that it's fanon that Wilson's parents are sweet and nice. I've got a plotbunny for a writer to adopt: Wilson's father was a wifebeater. Think about Wilson's "pathology", folks, it works.

What does a 'good writer' do--what are their techniques--that makes one story stand out above all the rest in the same genre? That is naturally a complex question (: So much easier to point out defects and turnoffs ;) From the top of my head I can say that my favourite fic writers, apart from avoiding all the dooming qualities mentioned above, have A. a unique style that distinguishes their writing from any other (meaning, I can read a fic and know that it's theirs without checking first) and B. They tell me what I need to know and canon doesn't provide. Moreover, they feel gaps in a way that shifts the canonial facts, makes them fall into place, and the story and characters bocome more coherent as a whole and, as a result, more vivid.

Thanks Dee for the beta offer! I'm trying to abandon my mostly dialogue method and try more description. It’s a little freaky. I'll read through it one more time when I get home from work before I e-mail it. Most of my hated cliques have been already said. The two I think I dread the most are song fics and fics that steal half the show's dialogue and call it a fic. Using both techniques can be done well, but not often.

Note to all writers: 35K feet DOES NOT creativity make. On the flip side somewhere between Honolulu and Los Angeles Chapter 3 of ABPTB was written. What do you do when you find yourself straying? Do you go where the muses direct or do you U-turn and try to get the train back on track?

dee- the funny thing about that mpreg story quote you post - Chase is actually quite believable! I'm fond of mpreg but my fondness depends on the fandom. Its rampant in SGA (as is kidfic) & for a variety of reasons (mainly because its sci-fi) it often works & I've seen a lot of good examples. House, on the other hand, if it doesn't make sense medically, I just can't buy mpreg. (That doesn't mean it isn't funny, there's some hysterical Chase mpreg over at The Pit). The HouseCameron thing (chapt 2 of the "under the skin" fic went up today), its not that House/Cameron fic couldn't be believable if written well & in character, its that hardly anyone who writes this pairing seems to come up with a fic that isn't OOC (at least to me). I mean seriously - romantic, schmoopy House? This must be the fandom with the absolute least canon romanticism coupled with an incredibly cynical view of sex, so why do writers (& H/Cam writers in particular as far as I've seen) go this route in their fic? Wish-fulfilment?

Zulu asked: I agree that a good writer can take a cliche and make it into an excellent story. But what can a newer writer do in order to turn the cliche on its head? If you're not writing crack/parody, I don't think you necessarilly even have to come up with a totally original slant on the cliche--just keep the characters IC and use the situation to explore something about them and their relationship. For instance, if you want to explore how House would react if Wilson were seriously hurt...I think using a car accident, even if it is "drunk driver in a truck swerves across the road," as a way to get there is fine. But cliches are kind of a shortcut, a way to get something done in a story without putting a lot of effort into it. If the meat of the story is how House feels about Wilson, then maybe you don't need to put a lot of effort into coming up with an original way for him to be hurt. But the kind of story that I like has to have some part of it that's not cliche. Too often, I think, newbie writers think, "Oh, I want to have House realize how much he luurrrrves Wilson!" and the story is just a cliched car accident followed by a cliched declaration of love in a hospital room. The only people who are going to read that are readers who enjoy having the same emotional payoff over and over (and they do exist, of course). The story I just described--car accident/declaration of love--is basically a PWP with angst instead of sex. People read them because they want to feel a certain way (whether above the neck or inside the pants). I certainly read both kinds of PWPs from time to time, provided they have decent grammar and spelling, and avoid cerulean orbs and leaking cocks. But my favorite stories are the ones that have something more to them. But if you're specifically interested in turning cliches on their heads, what I would do is ask questions about it. Probably the first one to ask is, what do you want the payoff to be? For instance, when I wrote the PLOT Device stories, I focused on what the experience would illuminate and change about the characters (something I think I did a better job of in the Chase one--by the second half of the House one I was sort of doing a cuteness PWP). Another thing you can do is list the elements of the cliche and play around with changing one element and see what that does to the rest of the story. Take the car accident one. A quick list of key elements: Wilson innocent and hit by drunk driver of truck. House finds out Wilson is hurt and suddenly realizes how much he cares about Wilson. Goes to Wilson's hospital room and declares love. Wilson answers that he loves him to, and they kiss and/or shag. Pick an element. Let's say the accident is Wilson's fault, not some random drunk driver's. He was talking on his cell phone, or changing the CD, or just not paying attention, and he hit someone else (or maybe just a telephone pole--having someone else be injured would ratchet up the angst). Does having it be Wilson's fault change how House reacts? Maybe--maybe he's angry at Wilson instead of afraid for him. Or maybe his reaction is the same, but Wilson is too freaked out over having possibly injured or killed somone else to respond as House would like to the big declaration of love. Maybe House's big revelation isn't that he loves Wilson (maybe he already knew that, or maybe it's not a slash story), but that Wilson is fallible. Those are the big 2 things that I can think of. PS: I posted a first chapter of that murder mystery story.

He was talking on his cell phone, or changing the CD, or just not paying attention, and he hit someone else (or maybe just a telephone pole--having someone else be injured would ratchet up the angst) Even better: he's talking to HOUSE on the cellphone (who is baiting him to annoy him about something trivial), and House hears the accident. Who's fault is it?

its not that House/Cameron fic couldn't be believable if written well & in character, its that hardly anyone who writes this pairing seems to come up with a fic that isn't OOC (at least to me) I have a lot of problems with the pairing too, but every so often I read something worthwhile. The best example is Five Years and Five Years After by snarkbait (who is leaving the fandom btw. I'm more than a little sad).

Even better: he's talking to HOUSE on the cellphone (who is baiting him to annoy him about something trivial), and House hears the accident. Who's fault is it? Even better! Maybe House blames himself and feels terrible, and Wilson soothes him...or maybe House feels he did nothing wrong and Wilson ought to have been able to both talk to him and drive, and Wilson is righteously pissed off. House comes in and does his, "Oh Jimmy, hearing you nearly die made me realize I can't live without you, let's shag,' routine, and Wilson is all, What the fuck--you almost got me killed!

Lol! Yes! Or, House is all, "You shouldn't have answered the call while you were driving. Sheesh, and you call yourself responsible!" Actually, I like your version better. GO WRITE IT NOW! *cracks whip*