They Printed My Letter: Writing to House & Co.
They Printed My Letter: Writing to House & Co. …thanks to Paraoptomistic for the idea! Dear Dr. House, Sometimes, I feel like I'm watching you on TV. You rock. Signed, You Dear You, You are. Get a life. House Ever just want to write our favorite diagnosticians (and nurse and janitor who wears his pants backwards) a good old fashioned letter? And actually have them respond? Well, now you can! This game is easy. Write a letter. The next person to post responds to that letter, and then writes a new one. And the game goes on, simple as that! ~~~~~ To start: Dear Dr. Cuddy, How can you keep such good control of House? He's mean, arrogant, and never listens to authority. And everyone knows I've tried so hard. Sincerely, Blythe House

Dear Blythe, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa! Me, control House! Oh, you were serious? Well, if the threat of clinic hours or jail doesn't work, I just wear bulky turtleneck sweaters until he gets a clue. Sincerely, Dr. Lisa Cuddy Dear Dr. Wilson, I had such a good time on our date last night! The play was wonderful, and your company was blissful. I treasured every moment. I hope you walk into my office, sweep all the items on my desk to the floor, and consummate our relationship in a storm of mad, passionate lovemaking. Kisses (and MORE), Lisa

House, Last night's popcorn isn't that stale. Give it up. Wilson. *** Dear Doctor Chase, I am an art professor and I'd like to use your wardrobe for my Color Theory class. Will you (and your latest tie/shirt/sweater vest combination) be available next Thursday at 4 pm? Sincerely, Violet Grumbacher, M.A.

Dear Violet, Unfortunately, my job keeps me from doing most anything else. My boss is kind of a tough guy to work for. I am free Thursday night if you wanted to grab a bite to eat and maybe take some photos for your class. Cordially, Dr. Robert Chase *** Cameron-- A nurse in PEDs told me you'd resigned. What did House do? Is this about Chase? Stop by my office before you leave. We need to talk. --Dr. Wilson

Dear Dr. Wilson, I apologize, but this place holds too many bad memories. Chase and I are leaving for Malawi, where we will adopt several children, and then we will move permanently to Melbourne. It was a pleasure working with you. Fondest regards, Cameron *** Dear. Dr. House: I've been coughing uncontrollably for the last five days, despite codeine cough syrup, prednisone, every asthma inhaler on the planet, and five-hour-long hot baths. What the hell is wrong with me, and how much would it cost to treat it? - Leto

Dear Leto, Try the illegal stuff. It works much better. H ~~~~~ Feel better romanshoes - I remember we both had pneumonia last year at this time. Hey, try Prilosec, that of all things helped me. ---arizona ~~~~~ Mark - How's Stacy doing? She hasn't made you eat curry yet, has she? H

Greg, Does licking curry of her breasts count as eating? Bet she never let you do that... Go to hell, Mark ********************************************* Wilson, I'm totally out of groceries. You buy me enough lunch not to starve, but it'd be nice to be able to wipe off my ass when I'm at home. Get your lazy butt to the store! House

House - You make as much as I do, own multiple vehicles, actually have a team of doctors under you (except for now), and don't have alimony payments to three ex-wives. Go Shopping! Wilson ~~~~~ Dr. House, I am interested in working in your department as a nurse practitioner specializing in infectious disease, and I have heard that you are currently hiring. You will find my attached CV, references, and personal photo from the latest cover of Vogue. Ima Nurse, RN, DrNP PS: I got through nursing school as a model.

Dear Ima Nurse, Your offer is tempting. But I only accept breast size C and up. --Dr. House Dear Dr. Wilson, You are cute. Can I be your next wife? --Your former patient, Liza Smith

Dear Lisa, Former patients don't have the level of neediness I'm looking for. Best of health in the future. Regards, James ~~~~~~~ Eric, Are you still with Dr. House? My offer still stands. Dr. Marty

Marty, Jesus, I thought I drilled this into your skull already. I. AM. NOT. GAY. Try Dr. Wilson. - Eric **** Dear what-the-hell's-your-face...Dr. House, that's it: I'm getting a divorce. I'm horny. Call me. - Maddy

Maddy - Who are you? House ~~~~~ Dear Honey, I have a job opening in my department if you're interested. House

Dear Dr. House, I appreciate the job offer, but I already accepted one at a back to nature commune. All the soy milk and rice cakes I want! Peace, Honey Dear Cameron, It's Tuesday, and I like you. Chase

Dear Bobby, What's with the same old same old? Anyway, who writes a romantic letter using last names? Got no time for anything but microwave pizza these days: are you game? See you next Tuesday. (Oh and this time, I really will be there! Love, Allison

Hee, Boffle!