I didn't see it as a "Quit trying to change me" at all, if only because the change to which he was immediately referring was one he began himself. Wilson and Cuddy didn't want House on methadone, but once they saw that this made him less miserable, then, yeah, as his friends they were right on board. And House seemed to me to be deflecting when he asked the "What do you care if I'm happy" question. Yes, the argument can definitely be made that Cuddy was hoping House would be different once she seemed to get a signal that he wanted her, which was probably a case of faulty logic. Maybe she saw how he interacted with Stacy and presumed that to be his default "romance" mode. However, in this scene, House was just resigning himself to the fact that he can never be less miserable if he still wants to kick ass at work (although this particular instance was a stupid argument, for sure), and Cuddy happened to be there. I honestly hope this episode means the end of their silly cat-and-mouse and the start (or end?) of something more meaty between House and Cuddy. *crosses fingers* I'll join you here. :D

I agree that "Softer Side" marks an important turning point in the House/Cuddy relationship. I have greatly enjoyed all of the twists and turns of their interactions since the kiss because it seemed absolutely neccessary that they get beyond the snarky attitude and superficial flirtatiousness that has characterized their past several years together. The death of House's father, the temporary loss of Wilson, and the arrival of Cuddy's baby were the crises which set them off on their new path this season. House launched them in a new direction by sending Cuddy an important message through the potentially embarrassing picture of himself as a college cheerleader. As Detective Lucas noted, with this clue House wanted Cuddy to see him in a new light, but sadly she wasn't able to make the switch and didn't get the signal from House. Stops along the way included the passionate, raw, mysterious and dark kiss which shocked them both. The clumsy missteps of Cuddy's practical jokes were matched when House committed a serious foul with the breast-grab. His outsized gesture of the desk gift was unrequited. Cuddy's confused struggle to connect with House was sidetracked by the urgency of her equally frustrating attempts to connect with her new baby. Just when she believed she had forged a fragile link to her daughter, Cuddy had to return to work. She felt her already shaky maternal skills were threatened and she suffered an emotional breakdown in which House became the target of her most cruel attacks. He gave her a third gift by not retaliating and remarkably stood by her as she quickly came out of her breakdown filled with apologies and remorse. Cuddy saw the sad outcome of her gamesplaying when she was unable to offer House a simple and believable invitation to her baby's naming ceremony because she had undermined her credibility with doubletalk and reverse psycholgy ploys. I think that since the beginning of the season House has been ready to stop the games and deal directly with Cuddy. But because of her own commitment fears, inept communication skills, and her long history with him, Cuddy has been unable to recognize that the landscape had changed drastically. She continued to play by their older rules because that was all she knew to do. Now at last in "Softer Side" the two are speaking with new simplicity and directness. The wonderful scene in Cuddy's office in which she offers House his job and her support with the methadone treatment was tremendously touching. They acknowledged that his true place is in her hospital. No snark, no attitude, no connivance or ploys. The follow-up scene in his office continued this new level of openness. House's question to Cuddy was, I think, to know if she could accept and care for him as he is, misery and all. Her lowered eyes conveyed that she understood the seriousness of his question and that she was holding fire on her answer pending an examination of her own heart.

Bringing this over from the Timeline thread: I can see Cuddy involved in various events around the hospital, volunteering and organizing but I can't see House involved in them because he hates that stuff. How then could they have become friends? They meet and Cuddy is impressed with him but they wouldn't hang out at the same pub or have any friends in common because their circle of friends would be completely different. At that age, 11 years is the difference between being an undergrad with teenage concerns and being a functioning adult. When you're 30, the concerns of 18 year olds are long behind you. Yes, we have seen that House hates doing things related to administration, organization, conferences and teaching/lecturing. No reason to believe he didn’t back then either. But I don’t think he could have gotten away with shirking those responsibilities the way he does under Cuddy’s regime. Cuddy isn’t hard enough on him because of her guilt issues and Cam has effectively appointed herself as his secretary, a position she’s not willing to relinquish even though she doesn’t work for him anymore because of her crush issues. Note that he met Wilson at a conference at which he was bored and gravitated towards him because he picked up on the fact that Wilson was somehow different and that appealed to him. I don’t see why we can’t similarly imagine that House was reluctantly doing some of his administrative duties by serving on a hiring committee, for instance, and Cuddy was a student representative on it and she caught his attention and they connected, if only briefly If they weren't friends, then Cuddy was an undergrad who heard of him as a legend and met when he was a resident, a sexy guy with power and authority. So she gets a crush on him, he's attracted to her and they either do or don't have a ONS and move on. Twenty years later, Cuddy's still got the crush and can't move on to a relationship with someone else (Insensitive). IMO it would have made more sense to use LE"s real age, then they could have been closer to a real friendship and made it seem less like a crush on a medical god on Cuddy's part. I think it’s grossly oversimplifying the Cuddy character to say that she’s had a 20 year crush on House based on a brief connection with him when she was a teenager, that she’s been secretly pining away for him all these years and that it has affected all her relationships with men ever since. No character on this show is that simple, even the minor and non-recurring ones, such as the PoTWs. House, Wilson and Cuddy are fairly complex characters who have a discernible pattern in their relationships and we’ve been given clues as to what these patterns are and what their reasons could be. We got our first clue when House told Wilson “You’re too nice for her to like you”. Insensitive gave us our second and important clue regarding Cuddy’s “pattern” in her relationships when Lube Guy said that it seemed to him that she “thrived on conflict”. So, we know that she likes difficult people and challenging relationships. Yes, House fits the bill of “difficult and challenging” but that doesn’t mean that her fling with him all those years ago caused the pattern. House also meets Wilson’s requirement of “needy” but that doesn’t mean that House (or any of Wilson’s ex-wives or even Danny for that matter) caused Wilson’s pattern of needing to be needed. There’s obviously something deeper rooted than that in both Cuddy and Wilson’s cases and it’s probably related to childhood issues and family dynamics, much like House’s dislike of authority goes back to his childhood and his father’s overly strict disciplining. I also think it’s grossly oversimplifying the House/Cuddy relationship by calling it an unrequited crush on Cuddy’s part. I can write a mile long post on how much more complex their relationship is but since you mentioned Insensitive I’ll just focus on that. The episode in fact showed us that House was becoming increasingly drawn to Cuddy to the point where he had started to become obsessive about her, cleverly deducing that she was going on a date and relentlessly interfering with it under the pretext of work. When Cuddy called him out on his behavior and asked him “Do you like me House?” we saw that he looked scared. He knew he liked her but he wasn’t ready to face it yet, let alone do anything about it, so he rationalized it away by saying that he’s only screwing around.

blacktop, that was an amazing post !!! thank you !

I think that since the beginning of the season House has been ready to stop the games and deal directly with Cuddy. But because of her own commitment fears, inept communication skills, and her long history with him, Cuddy has been unable to recognize that the landscape had changed drastically. She continued to play by their older rules because that was all she knew to do. This is where completely disagree, blacktop. I don't think House really wants to change things this season. He continues to want her to focus on him - and him alone - with no outside interference. When House found out that Cuddy was going to adopt a baby - and all throughout "Joy" - he wasn't at all happy for her. He KNEW that she wanted a baby for several years, but when she joyously shared her news with him, he did his best to undermine the big event, even barging in on the birth scene. He was HORRIBLE to her. It as all about HIM, not Cuddy or her happiness. In "Let Them Eat Cake," they were equally stupid, but even after House humiliated her with the boob grab at the end of that episode, she was back in his office when she didn't need to be in the following episode. And how did he treat her? He continued to humiliate her in front of his employees, mocking her for wanting to have sex with him. To me, this all says, "Back off," not "I'm wanting to have a relationship with you but I'm afraid to say it." I think House would have liked to have been asked to go to the baby thing at Cuddy's, but I don't believe that he really wanted to go. House doesn't like socializing, unless it's a poker game, and there is no way I can believe that the House we've known all these years wants to be involved in Rachel's life, and that is a crucial reason why Cuddy should be running for the hills AWAY from him. I DID like their last two exchanges in "The Softer Side." I love that Cuddy was being both friend and boss by offering to oversee a controversial treatment for his own good. That's the Cuddy I love. I also loved House and the way he chose his diagnostic skills over his lack of pain. We've seen that House and Cuddy can converse quite naturally without the snark and sexual overtones. I loved their exchange at the end of "Ugly" when they were watching the video together. They didn't seem to have any problems in the first two seasons. I quite enjoyed those exchanges when neither of them were reduced to eighth-grader antics. While I preferred that House and Cuddy kept their former relationship status, I was willing to see what would happen if they became more intimately involved. I believe that this possibility needed to be addressed at one time or another, just as a Cameron/House possible relationship needed to be addressed back in Season 1. However, I don't like the way the writers have done it, and I don't find it believable. I'm happy for those of you who can, though. Perhaps it all comes down to my disbelief in Cuddy being "damaged" like House. I don't feel as if we've been adequately shown that she is any more damaged than Chase, Cameron, Wilson, etc.

Brilliant post, maya. I agree with all that you say here. You have captured the dynamics of this season's House/Cuddy relationship shifts perfectly and outlined why this is such a compelling and captivating aspect of the show. And eve, I agree that we do not know all of Cuddy's damage yet, but it is clear that she is as messed up as either House or Wilson. David Shore called House and Cuddy two troubled people who make lots of mistakes and this seems exactly right to me. Add to this Hugh Laurie's comment that House and Cuddy are smart, driven, deeply lonely people who have gaping holes in their lives and I think we see that TPTB have an excellent grasp of the essentials of these two characters. House's comment to Cuddy in "Social Contract" about being a jerk who jerks her around is a direct call back to the themes of this entire season. I think we also saw a continuation of a mode that has dominated this season: House is no longer playing the barrier-building games with his nearest and dearest as he has in the past. He is prepared to be much more open, direct, honest, and straightforward. I think this is a direct response by House to his get-off-the-bus epiphany with Amber in the closing episode last season. In "No Reason" he examined himself and realized he wanted to risk everything for a pain-free life. In "Wilson's Heart" he further examined himself and discovered that he wants to live a meaningful life that is enriched by important relationships with the people he loves. It was not an accident that the final scenes of last season featured Cuddy at House's bedside. She is at the center of this re-evaluation that House has undertaken throughout season five. The tragedy for House this season has been that his years of fortress-building resulted in a highly effective and convincing facade. His friends, most particularly Cuddy, have been so thoroughly trained by him to see the deceptions, diversions, evasions and coded signals he uses as his usual manner of communication that they are unprepared and unbelieving when he tries to change. Are they so programmed that they are actually incapable of seeing him in a new light? So the issue for the remaining episodes this season is will House make a definitive break-through and convince Cuddy that he genuinely means to live a different, richer sort of life? Or will the old patterns re-assert themselves in the end?

We got our first clue that House wanted to take his relationship with Cuddy in a different direction in Adverse Evenst when he sent her a photo of himself from a time in his life when he was young and innocent and whole, willing to take chances and not afraid of embarrassing himself. He wanted her to see him in a different light from the one she saw at the workplace, the bitter, cynical jerk who jerks her around. It was the most understated yet the most touching moments of the season because it spoke to something that all of us can identify with, the longing in each one of us that others see what we’re capable of, not judge us based on what they see. We apparently see House in a different light as well. The photo was one of those many WTH? moments for me this season. House a cheerleader? That does not compute with me at all! By his own admission, he was driving people away at a very young age. I think it takes a special person to be a peppy college cheerleader. I can't see House bluffing his way through any kind of extended auditioning process; I'm sure they're not selected based on an essay. Anyway, since it's canon, I can't dispute it, but it seemed like a very silly one-time only joke to me. But as far as House as "willing to take chances and not afraid of embarrassing himself," I think he's shown us quite often that he's not afraid of embarrassing himself since Season 2. He made an ass of himself in Mark's therapy class and in "Distractions," when he acted out in the lecture hall, in Season 3 when he insisted on riding in a wheelchair. He was willing to do whatever it took to win Stacy back. In Season 4, he made an ass of himself over and over again, but the do-rag scene certainly should have embarrassed him. I can't imagine the Season 1 House doing anything that ridiculous. The sadness and longing in his eyes as he lingered outside her window and looked at her spoke more than a thousand words could. Yes. HL does sadness and longing quite well, doesn't he? I loved the look he gave Cameron in the ER at the end of "Right Stuff," and Stacy in several episodes. I'm not saying he doesn't want Cuddy, but I think it's very possessive and has a lot to do with taking what she has been offering to him on a silver platter this season. We saw him step back and give Cuddy the space and time she needed to bond with her baby. We saw him be patient with her when she was conflicted about being back at work and lashed out at him. We saw him hold Rachel and we saw him play a tune for her naming ceremony. It's pretty clear that he's accepted that the baby is going to be a part of Cuddy's life and that he doesn't resent it. Does he really have a choice at this point? The baby is part of Cuddy's life now. And he only gave her space AFTER dragging his team to see her in "Big Baby" and trying to convince her that she could give the baby back. He held Rachel for a moment when Cuddy handed her to him, and quickly gave her back as soon as he had an excuse to do so. It was a sweet moment, but it was initiated by Cuddy, not House. In Lucky 13, he unexpectedly learned of her plans to adopt just as he had started thinking about taking their relationship in a new direction and it felt like the rug had been pulled from beneath his feet. Then very soon after, in Joy, he learned that she was about to get a baby. Things were moving much too quickly, he was afraid of losing Cuddy and he was genuinely afraid that she might be making a decision that she might regret. He's known for several years that she wanted a baby; it wasn't some sudden whim of hers. He was afraid of losing her focus on HIM. He was thinking of himself, not of her. And Joy was also the episode where we saw House at his most human and vulnerable, when we saw him sincerely tell Cuddy she’d be a great mom and when he kissed her in what seemed like a bid to erase both his and her pain and anguish. And this is what I HATED about the whole kiss thing. He'd been very cruel to her the whole episode, undermining the whole process, even in the delivery room. What kind of selfish jerk would try and snatch such a lovely, life-changing moment away from a new parent? Then when she loses the baby, he's suddenly all compassionate and tells her that she'd make a great mother. Based on WHAT? What happened between his mocking derision all episode and the moment in her vestibule that made him decide she'd make a great mother? And you could see that he was ashamed at how cruelly he had treated her when he hung his head in shame after she’d left. Yes, I thought he DID look ashamed of himself, but he negated that when he mocked her the very next morning in the DDx session - in front of the whole team - about her feelings for him. He made a fool of her - again. I loved those scenes too. But those moments where they connect are special precisely because they happen so rarely. And this is another reason why I'm having so much trouble with the whole romance angle. We've barely seen them interact as friends - they never go anywhere together, or hang out together outside of work. We learned about House and his father, we are learning more about Wilson and his brother and I am sure that we’ll learn more about the causes of Cuddy’s relationship patterns in coming seasons. What a shame that the writers didn't use some of Thirteen's bloated screentime - and finding out all about HER past - to spend on Cuddy. Up to now, I haven't seen anything to indicate that Cuddy is any more damaged than anyone else. She was able to secure a top-notch job at a young age and keep it for many years, which shows good communication skills. She's had dinner parties with friends at her lovely home, dates with handsome men, and had a roomful of close friends and family to celebrate Rachel's naming ceremony. And eve, I agree that we do not know all of Cuddy's damage yet, but it is clear that she is as messed up as either House or Wilson. I'm sorry, but I don't think it is "clear" at all. There are too many WTH? posts on this forum alone to ignore when it comes to Cuddy's behavior in the past year or two, as contrasted with what we saw in the early seasons. I'm going to see what the rest of the season holds for these two, but something is going to have to change drastically for me to get behind this pairing.

LogicalLilly wrote,To me, this all says, "Back off," not "I'm wanting to have a relationship with you but I'm afraid to say it." House is a harsh man, especially when he fears the loss of Cuddy or Wilson. He was never harsher towards Wilson than when Wilson was leaving, eventhough he wanted Wilson to stay. I think something similar happened with Stacy. And Stacy didn't Stay either. It's illogical but it is his pattern. Thankfully, Cuddy understands this. In "Big Baby", Cuddy brought Rachel to House for bonding. At first House said, 'You've told me you're keeping her, now you can go.' She ignored his "back off" because she knew he didn't mean it. She told him to move his feet so she could sit down. He did, she and Rachel sat. He took the baby with satisfying interest. Cuddy was beaming. She is the one-in-a-million woman for House; who else would want him? But she truly seems to love him; to live with him is a different question entirely. I think the picture Shore and Co. paint is deliberately misleading as Cuddy and House lead first with their hearts and then their minds and back again, but never at the same time. We are waiting for their cycles to match up and then separate again until they finally reach their own unusual rhythm. I'm sure it will be like no other. I've mostly enjoyed the "music" with very few exceptions. blacktop wrote,and her long history with him, Cuddy has been unable to recognize that the landscape had changed drastically. House is ready to reveal his inner landscape to Cuddy but what of Cuddy's expectations and wishes for a relationship? There was a painting in Cuddy's living room seen in "Unfaithful" during the Baby-naming ceremony that was a landscape of two small rolling hills curving into each other. Perhaps these two low hills folding into one another are Cuddy's design for a good relationship; small ups and downs that flow into each other. I imagine House thinks more in terms of Mt. Everest (Cuddy) with himself being Sir Hillary, the man to conquer her and plant his flag in triumph. There is a picture of Cuddy climbing an extremely steep and challenging mountain in her office that we observe House absorbing during "The Last Resort". Although, already House is belying this confrontational and conquering image with his romantic and confiding behavior in "The Social Contract". But how long will it last? Maya wrote,Yes, certain aspects of the writing have stretched my credulity and patience, but I am willing to try and look beyond it and to try and make sense of the underlying motivations of what I think are two complex and fascinating characters. I am so glad you wrote this modifying statement because there were times in LTEC and JTTW when it was clear to me that the writers were taking some of those forwards steps back in a rough and ready style, as they are wont to do. I am thankful for Hugh Laurie and Lisa Edelstein who keep me believing in some of the more, seemingly, random, confusing, not to say schizophrenic, aspects of both House's and Cuddy's behavior towards one another. Looked at from a distance, it is all part of a more intriguing whole. I could have done without the ridiculous caricature of Cuddy in LTEC but then I remembered a hilarious comedy sketch series by Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders titled "Let Them Eat Cake" with Saunders as Marie Antoinette. Was this House MD title meant as a partial warning for satire ahead? Lisa Edelstein has always taken chances in her career. She has often said that she feels most at home on the outer edges. Her arc was bound to inhabit those edges somewhere.

Well, but, if we don't know about her damage and facts cannot be inferred directly from canon, then as far *we know,* she's not damaged. Canon is only what we know and can persuade others of - everything else is personal perception. And for me, they haven't made this 'damage' clear enough in canon to make this storyline cohere emotionally. She's said herself that she was so driven to succeed that she missed out on key elements of her life -- relationships, family, etc. She's just now coming to realize how big of a thing that is. She has problems making emotional connections. She thrives on conflict, (which was made clear since the first season, and voiced by lube guy) which leads her into disastrous relationships. (e.g.: House.) That may not be "damage" in terms of abuse or missing brothers or dead husbands, but it's still something that obviously has haunted her for some time and is damage. And it's definitely canon. Besides, everyone on this show is damaged in some way. House surrounds himself with damaged people and has since we first saw him in the pilot. Damaged people interest him -- especially people who hide their damage. This isn't a competition to see who is more damaged than someone else. It's a story telling backbone of the show itself.

supercomputer wrote, that doing an arc that explores the possibility of an advancing romantic relationship between them at this point of the show that ends badly for them only serves to underline that, that kind of relationship isn't in the cards. I imagine Shore and Co. are attempting to broaden the definition of that kind of relationship to encompass many more possibilities for all kinds of damaged but somehow lovable people (to someone). I have been witnessing the building of a valuable intimacy between Cuddy and House where they, at the end of 8 years, could be successful in a new kind of relationship that they will have fashioned together to suit themselves, hand-made and one-of-a-kind. I view this show as one that seeks to overturn the accepted standards of what is possible or impossible in society and between people.