Wilson (after Cuddy catches House and Wilson kissing in Wilson's office): So am I supossed to stand here and pretend that I don't love him? Because, Lisa, you know as well as I that it's not true. Cuddy: I...I...You're fired!

House: No, but he sure is on fire. Meow *nibbles wilson's neck* Chase: I'm not British

Off topic for a second... House: I feel pretty! Or so pretty! I feel pretty, and witty and gay! Does that remind anyone else of that one YouTube video? The one with Wilson and Chase "singing" ^that song? On topic... Cuddy: House, it's okay that you bother me at 3 in the morning. I really don't mind.

Pulling some of my lines from TWOP... Wilson: O, when mine eyes did see my Gregory first, Methought he purged the air of pestilence! That instant was I turn'd into a hart; And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds, E'er since pursue me. (Cameron enters office. Chase is there, fiddling with the supply of num-nums) Chase: Hi. Cameron: Hello. (Chase takes a gulp of coffee) Cameron: I'm pregnant with your child. (Chase inhales the wrong way, begins to choke, falls over) Cameron: (pokes around in num-num supply) Oh, darn, we're out of animal crackers. Oh well. (leaves) Chase: (is still on the floor twitching) SCENE SWITCH... (Cameron walks into cafeteria. Foreman, House, and Wilson are there) Foreman: How'd it go? Cameron: He totally bought it. (Wilson and House hand her money) Wilson: What did Cuddy tell you? House: Nothing that your body language isn't telling me right now. Wilson: She loves you? House: When was the last time I played a practical joke? Wilson: Well, there was that time where you said you were dying of kidney failure, and I donated one of my kidneys to save your life, and then you said it was an April fool and we had to...throw my kidney away... Cameron: You know what? House is just too much of a bitch for me. I'm sleeping with Cuddy from now on.

House: I do have emotional problems. I think I'll see a shrink.

House: I feel pretty! Or so pretty! I feel pretty, and witty and gay! You know, in a certain, snarky context, I can actually hear him singing that. Time for that most ancient of fandom quotes-- House: Well whaddaya know, it IS lupus!

House to POTW: Please, please can we schudual for a follow-up?

Wilson to House: Well, of course you can borrow my prescription-pad. Do you need me to sign my name on some of the pages?

Foreman: House, can you write me a prescription for Viagra? Chase: Wilson, I think you need a new best friend. Cuddy: Cameron, you ignorant slut. Cameron: Yes, boss, whatever you say. House: What is a rubber button?

House: Why am I still walking with my cane on the wrong side? That physical therapist told me to switch it!

Cuddy: I've been thinking. Doing clinic hours is unnecessary. House: I don't need Vicodin anymore. I'm looking into Holistic medicine. Wilson: Buy your own damn lunch, House.

House: Hey, Wilson! Wanna grab lunch? My treat.

Also bringing these over from The Other Place: HOUSE: Drugs are bad, mmkaay? TRITTER: What do I care if some doctor at Princeton-Plainsboro is popping a few too many pain pills? I have real crimes to investigate. HOUSE: Why, yes, Dr. Cuddy, I think breast reduction surgery is an excellent idea. Those things must be murder to lug around.

Cuddy: Cameron, you ignorant slut. Classic SNL! Cuddy: Wilson, please stop worrying about taking care of House. He's my responsibility, not yours. I can handle him.