House: Paying women for sex is demeaning and exploitative.

Wilson: House, it's inoperable, stage 3 in your kidneys. (I'm not actually sure, is there kidney cancer? Never heard of it before...)

Oh yes, you can get cancer of the kidneys and it's deadly. House: I need you to sleep with Wilson. Cuddy: Okay.

House: I need you to sleep with Wilson. Cuddy: Okay. House: Cameron and 13, you go steal the KY Jelly from the pharmacy, Chase and Foreman go to the nearest convieniance store and by some chocolate. Oooh and Wilson, you, you're coming with me.

House: Wilson told me about what you said to him. You really feel that way about me? Foreman: of course. I just have a hard time expressing my emotions, I'm an emotionaly repressed beggot. House: Great! Get the lube.

Any female guest star: What's it like to work with Hugh Laurie? I hated it. He's a terrible actor and a self-centered drama queen, and I didn't feel any chemistry onscreen with him at all. He's not the slightest bit attractive physically and we couldn't stand each other. It was a terrible experience, really.

House (a la Lt. George): I feel fantastic!

Tagia, that's win.

House: I was wrong.

House: It doesn't matter why!!! Let me be miserable in peace! I'm going to go sulk in a dark room.

Chase to Foreman: I want to have your baby!

House: Thirteen, I need you to sleep with Amber. Thirteen: Okay.

Foreman: I don't need to be like House to be successful. I need to become Wilson.

Wilson: Seriously, House, I'm with a patient. Wait patiently on the balcony like a good cripple.