WARNING: There's a link to a picture of a rash in this dialogue! If you can't handle the rash, don't click the link!
Arizonamyrie: What's his CBC? How is his renal function? Get a urinalysis! And--
K-Haldane: Has he been eating any doughnuts with yellow icing?
(Everybody stops and stares)
K-Haldane: My son twice came out in a rash
only on his lower legs after eating yellow-iced doughnuts when he was a toddler.
(The staring continues)
House: Ookay. Welcome to DDx, K--may I call you K?
K-Haldane: Well, I'd really prefer--
House: K it is! So Chai, what have you got for me?
Chai: Well, we've got test results and some new symptoms--which would you like first?
House: Oh, by all means, the symptoms!
Chai: Well, the rash is now blistering and has just a teensy bit of necrosis.
Arizonamyrie: What does the rash look like?
Chai:
Kinda like this.
House: Ahh, I love purpuric rash in the morning. And it's got necrosis? Well those aren't really his legs in the picture, but I'll take it. The new symptom?
Chai: Kid now has pain in his left elbow.
House: And the tests?
Chai: We have hematuria and proteinuria: creatinine clearance was at 31 with proteinuria of 4.5, but his blood urea was normal.
House: Besides, y'know, that some of his blood was IN his urine.
Arizonamyrie: He has a UTI anyway, hematuria isn't uncommon. By the way, what antibiotic did they switch him to?
Chai: Cipro.
Arizonamyrie: Could that give him serum sickness, you think?
House: Practically unheard of for amoxicillin. Only 10 cases in 13 years. He's been fine on the cipro. So what have the blood tests shown us?
Chai: CBC revealed normal WBC--
House: Sí!
Chai: But he has hemoglobin of 95g/l. He has negative ANA and his C3 and C4 are normal.
Arizonamyrie: I still want my MRI...
Chai: Well you don't get it! I am sick of people sticking patients in the MRI of DOOM before trying an x-ray, ultrasound, or CT scan. You don't give MRI's out like candy, folks! This is the Diagnostics Department! What would you do if you couldn't get an MRI? Would you just DIE? Would you?!
(Everybody stares again)
Chai: (mumbles) He can't get one anyway. Has a frickin' cochlear implant.
House: 어색한... (
awkward...)
(A/N: MRI wouldn't have shown anything anyway)