Granted. All your teeth have fallen out and the shape of your mouth is wrong for dentures. Everyone calls you "Gummy" from now on. I wish my apartment would clean itself.

Granted. But it's now so clean, that compared to you, you're dirtier than a rat. The apartment throws you out. I wish I could see into the future.

Granted. You can't see any farther than three seconds into the future, so instead of being precognitive you just get unremitting deja vu. All the time. I wish my roommate would clean up after herself.

Granted. But she's not your roommate anymore. You don't have a room. I wish i didn't have to go to school today.

Granted. You're in the hospital with some horrible disease that no one can figure out. Too bad House isn't real! I wish my brother hadn't eaten my lean pocket.

Granted, he ate your pants pocket. Which is really kinda creepy. I wish that i would get an A on my trigonometry test tomorrow. (Don't be mean. Trig is hard and hurts my brain.)

Granted. Too bad A is the new B, and B is the new C. Just wait till you hear what they do with the people who get Fs! I wish I could properly access LiveJournal on my CrackBerry.

That's cool. Passing grade=fine with me. Granted, but you can't access anything else like... PHONE SERVICE. I wish I didn't have to eat dinner tonight.

Who needs phone service on their cell phone anyway? As long as I can send a message to someone when there's an emergency... okay, last Friday proved why I need at least 911 service. I wish I didn't have to eat dinner tonight. Granted. You never have to eat again as you've been zombified a la Owen Harper. Just don't break anything. Or cut anything. Or eat anything. Or try to go to sleep... I wish I could get Torchwood on iTunes US.

Granted, but they are all in chinese and are pirated and you can't access House on US iTunes. I wish Channel 10 would have a mega House Marathon, and my school got the day off to watch it.

Actually, last I checked (last night) you can't access House on iTunes US either. Not that I use iTunes for TV shows as they seem to be of poor visual quality when I do, and even then, I have to play them in a different player. But Hulu does have the newest five eps of House on it (a legal webservice that streams television, still in beta testing - but you have to live in the US). I wish Channel 10 would have a mega House Marathon, and my school got the day off to watch it. Granted. KSAZ Fox 10 of Phoenix, Arizona decides to do a four-season long House marathon - nonstop House, no commercial interruptions, no news. Too bad (1) you don't live there and (2) they missed the news about the sun imploding. Sorry about that. But at least Phoenix residents get to die while watching Hugh Laurie (providing the sun spots and sudden change of gravity don't happen to alter the station's ability to broadcast a viable signal). I wish my dentist would have had openings next week when I called to reschedule (instead of openings today).

Granted. But someone invited you to travel the world that day but your mom made you go to the dentist. Shame.... I wish i never had homeowork ever again.

Granted. You drop out of school, become addicted to crack, and live in a cardboard box. And then they make an after-school special about it and small children laugh at you. I wish I had some ice cream.

Granted. But some serial killer who's addicted to crack and lives in a cardboard box who didn't go to school poisoned your ice cream and you died. I wish i could stop watching movies from the 1950's.

Granted, you are watching home movies made by my computer-challenged friend. Fun. I wish I could get the My Chemical Romance song i was listening to earlier out of my head.