He now wants you to read the same damn book to him thirteen times in a row. And the book is War and Peace. Fine. I'll give him the children's condensed version: "Once upon a time, Leo Tolstoy pontificated for 1,000+ pages and killed off a bunch of people, and yet it wasn't nearly as good as Anna Karenina. The end. I wish I didn't have to go to class tomorrow. Granted. You don't, because you've been kicked out of school. Doesn't that suck? I wish John Simm would appear in an episode of House.

Granted, but then the writers kill John Simm off. I wish I could run into Adam Savage.

Granted, you run into him with your car I wish the History Channel didn't use overly dramatic voice actor on every program

Granted. They use Carol Chaney (sp?) voice and now you can't take the boming of Pearl Harbour seriously. I wish that the new fic I'm writing is liked by others.

Granted! Unfortunately, those others are exclusively chimpanzees--the humans all think you suck. I wish I were a morning person

Granted. For 12 am to sunrise, you are perfectly happy and awake. Then you crash, wake up at 10, and need massive amounts of caffeine to function on those four to five hours of sleep. Or maybe that's just me. I wish this insomnia stops before the start of the fall 2007 semester.

Granted. No more insomnia, but say hello to narcolepsy! I wish I had a tube of Super Glue.

Granted, but it's empty. I wish my beta'er would get back to me with the first chapter of my fic. I got three new ones waiting for her!

Granted, but then she never beta's for you again. (actually i hope that nver actually occurs...) I wish I was a foot taller than i am now, so i could look Hugh Laurie in the eye.

Granted, but now HL is a foot taller too. And then he falls and breaks his spine and can't be House anymore. I wish my friends would stop thinking I was weird for watching slash videos on YouTube just to can make fun of them.

Granted, but then they start doing it and it becomes a fad and now you can't do it because that would be so uncool to fall into a fad just because everybody else is. I wish -somebody- would read my fic so far and tell me what they think. (Offers, anybody?)

Granted, but then you don't have any friends. I wish I was normal.

Aw damn it. Granted. But now you're so normal it's abnormal! I wish I could chill out about my fic ans stop fretting. Really now, that needs to end, don't you think?

Granted. You chill. But now your work is begging to become an MST. I wish my nursing shoes would never allow my feet to hurt and make my shifts go well.

Granted. But then your ass starts to hurt for some strange reason. I wish school wouldn't start next week.