Call the Make-A-Wish Foundation: The Corrupt a Wish Thread
For those who don't know know, the corrupt a wish thread is where one person makes a wish and the next person corrupts it. i.e.: I wish I have $1,000,000. Granted, but the money's fake. You're on the run from the police. I wish I didn't have to pack. Granted, you move without all your stuff. Get it? Here's my wish: I wish My computer ran faster.

Granted. It runs so fast you can't keep up with it, and now you have no computer (it is three states away by now). I wish my dog would stop whining.

Granted. It's dead. Why do I always kill people/animals in this game? I wish I weren't so obviously homicidal.

Granted. You're unobviusly homicidal. People keep wondering why things die in your presance. You're banished to a remote island where all the trees and animals die and you have no food. You die. I wish that my soccer socks fit.

Granted. They just don't fit your feet, though, and since you only have one head you will have to throw the other sock away. Oh, and cut out eye-holes. I wish I had the motivation to get off this dang computer and go grocery shopping (it is that or another night of Chinese take-out. Am I in a cliched House!fic? I hope it is one with three-fingered first-time sex, handy lube and condoms, cerulean and doe-brown eyes, and buckets of pre-I-can't-say-it and seminal syrup. And lots of OOC "I love you, James. I love you, too, Greg") Not.

Granted. You are trapped in a House/Cameron bad!fic. FOREVER. (You have the motivation, but you CAN'T get out.) I wish my feet weren't freezing without them falling off or being in pain or me dying.

Granted. You are trapped in a House/Cameron bad!fic. FOREVER. *shudders* I wish my feet weren't freezing without them falling off or being in pain or me dying. This is a tough one to grant, what with all your specifications and all, but here goes... Granted. You were a Thalidomide baby. You have never had feet. They don't, therefore, feel cold or painful, were never there to fall off in the first place, and you don't die of it. You do, however, suffer from accompanying genital and urinary tract abnormalities, facial palsey and a deformed left ear. Don't you wish you had cold feet? I wish I could remember to water my flowers.

Granted, but you water them so much you cause an international drought. Nice going. I wish my mom would stop saying my desktop background is hard to read off of.

Granted. She now understands your desktop background so intimately thet she knows WAY too much about you. I wish that electricity cost less.

Granted. It is, in fact, so cheap that people all around the world decide to use a whole lot more electricity than normal and the world explodes from...well, lots and lots of electricity. It could happen. I wish I would start doing something productive. Oy.

Granted. You're writing that damn disclaimer. I wish I had more 7-UP.

Granted. You have lots of 7up. But this is because your tummy is really upset and you needed something to settle your stomach. I wish I would bother to send out a resume.

Granted. You bother to send out a resume . . . by folding it into a paper plane and chucking it out your window. You receive only one callback: it's from your creepy neighbor asking you to help him "nurse" his . On the reals though, been there and good luck with job-hunting. Kick some butt! Don't wear your green heels to the interview. I wish Lisa Edelstein and I were cuddled up and feeding each other these green market strawberries I'm eating right now. Which are tasty. As am I.

Granted. But then LE realized you are NOT her boyfriend and pitches you out the window. I wish my mom wasn't so anal about not letting me be on the caomputer for more than 2 hours.(The only reason I'm on now is because she's in the shower :cry: )

Granted. Your mom gets out her handcuffs and forces you to sit in front of the computer for 48 hours straight, not letting you sleep or eat. I wish I had internet at home.