5.24 - Both Sides Now

I can see House and Cuddy be mundane together. I can't see House getting over the fact that Cuddy will put her daughter over him in canon. Which, from my 'I don't care if they're sleeping together, I just love their relationship, period' perspective, makes it very interesting for me. I also desperately want TPTB to use the Wilson/Danny/House storyline and Cuddy/Rachel/House storyline next season.

I can't see House and Cuddy sitting down and reading the paper over coffee on a Sunday morning, I can't see them going grocery shopping together, or any of the mundane, everyday things that normal couples do. I don't know if I can see that or not, maybe, but what I can't see is House accepting Cuddy and her baby into his life. Becoming a stepfather as well as a boyfriend. He's never given any indication he's interested in parenthood, and seems jealous of the attention Cuddy gives the baby. To me that's the barrier because nothing can change the sheer fact of Rachel's presence in Cuddy's life. You can't fanwank it away. That's true. In fact, that's what started this whole delusion in the first place. House went to Cuddy for help, Cuddy didn't immediately fit into the role that he wanted her to play in his story, and he told her as much. The delusion started when hallucination!Cuddy dropped everything for him. In order for House to repair his relationship with Cuddy, he needs to learn to accept the role that the baby plays in Cuddy's life. Well, he needs to learn to accept everything that life has handed him since the infarction, but for Cuddy's sake he needs to accept the baby. That doesn't mean that the show would ever take their relationship down the romantic path they took it this season again (at least not for any extended length of time), but it would do wonders in beginning to repair their friendship. House and Cuddy are not "in love," but they do need each other.

How did House and Cuddy part at the end of BSN? HL, in the cast finale interviews, said that "they've liked each other for a very long time, let's be honest, more than liked." I should be corrected if I'm wrong, but in British English, "more than liked", usually is a euphemism for love. (Also see the "I need you delusion" and "let's move in together" delusion in BSN to support the idea that he loves her.) However, Cuddy has already decided at the beginning of BSN that she and House have only a professional relationship possible. She was angry but also relieved that he had finally pushed her too far so she could begin to distance herself from him. The problem is, just as in "Unfaithful", even when Cuddy asked House not to come to Rachel's party she was not able to enjoy herself without him there. And at Chameron's wedding, it would have been the same disappointment in his absence under normal circumstances, but with House's break down Cuddy was not only unable to enjoy the wedding, she was desolate and guilt-ridden. Cuddy announces to House that they have no personal relationship but her feelings won't be so easily stifled. "For better or for worse, you are a part of my life." And at this point he seems to be poisoning it. It is now clear to me that House has deep feelings for Cuddy. But from House's perspective after his break down, Cuddy is now implicated, through no fault of her own, in his humiliation and shame. I think that is why he did not ask for her help when his delusion shattered, but rather asked her to escort him to Wilson when he was able to walk. He would feel too ashamed to ask for her help now and, in any case, she had told him that she wanted a limited professional relationship with him in the future. She might feel differently now, after the breakdown, but he will remember the decision she made to keep her distance from him even before she knew of his mental illness and that will become a further barrier between them.

I think, in the case of House/Cuddy "more than liked" is a euphemism for "have a twisted emotional attachment to each plus some sexual tension." Once House pulls the hallucination away, the remembers that he said that like about "suckling the bastard child," Cuddy said "screw you" and she left. The next morning she told House that the he is a valued employee and nothing else. She spent the episode maintaining a professional, arms-length distance. In Cuddy's office he accuses her of overreacting. She said House had said lots of nasty things to her before. That's when House got confused. He thought she was overreacting to their having sex, not to something he said. And that's when he began to remember what really happened. Cuddy asked if he was alright and he said "no." She brings him to Wilson's office. In Wilson's office, she looked concerned (as she did at the wedding.) She realizes that House was insane when he said those things. My bet is that they're going to have to rebuild their relationship almost from scratch but, now that she understands the situation, Cuddy will be willing to do that.

What Poeia said. But, to me the look on Cuddy's face as she comes into Wilson's office ahead of House - she looks stricken - in worse shape even than if all she knew at that point was that House was falling apart. It makes me think that House told her everything in her office. Then either he could have asked her to come with him to Wilson, or she could have suggested that they talk to Wilson and the three of them could figure out what to do from there.

I can absolutely see House at that moment telling her he'd been hallucinating Amber, that he'd hallucinated interactions with Cuddy herself, maybe even that he'd subconsciously tried to kill Chase. But the specific nature of his Cuddy hallucination? No matter how vulnerable he was, it wouldn't make sense to me. He was probably feeling a fair amount of humiliation, and telling Cuddy the role she'd played would just make that worse - through no fault of hers, of course, but that fact wouldn't influence how he felt.

I can absolutely see House at that moment telling her he'd been hallucinating Amber, that he'd hallucinated interactions with Cuddy herself, maybe even that he'd subconsciously tried to kill Chase. But the specific nature of his Cuddy hallucination? No matter how vulnerable he was, it wouldn't make sense to me. He was probably feeling a fair amount of humiliation, and telling Cuddy the role she'd played would just make that worse - through no fault of hers, of course, but that fact wouldn't influence how he felt. Yeah, it's more likely that Wilson will tell her the specifics later on. And even then, she'll never know about the "I always want to kiss you" or about Amber telling him that he doesn't deserve her, which is fine. It's probably best that she never does know, or at least doesn't know until House is in a better place to deal with her reactions.

I can absolutely see House at that moment telling her he'd been hallucinating Amber, that he'd hallucinated interactions with Cuddy herself, maybe even that he'd subconsciously tried to kill Chase. But the specific nature of his Cuddy hallucination? No matter how vulnerable he was, it wouldn't make sense to me. He was probably feeling a fair amount of humiliation, and telling Cuddy the role she'd played would just make that worse - through no fault of hers, of course, but that fact wouldn't influence how he felt. He may not have been graphic, but I think he did tell her about her delusion of what happened the previous night. Don't forget that he began by saying: "That's not what happened." The hallucination of Amber was clearly hallucination. What happened with Cuddy was a complete break with reality along with delusion and an inability to separate reality and fantasy (let's not forget that it wasn't a one-time thing. His delusions continued throughout the day, every time he thought he had her lipstick). That was the final breakdown, and also -- in a Housian way -- it'd be a symptom. It'd be a medically true statement. For a guy who berates patients for lying, I can't see him withholding the most important truth about his own condition at this time.

Yeah, it's more likely that Wilson will tell her the specifics later on. That's possible, but boy...I really hope not. Wilson's a meddler, for sure, and he'd been encouraging House/Cuddy when they were both (relatively) healthy. But talking about hallucinations had when the guy wasn't in his right mind is a whole different thing. but I think he did tell her about her delusion of what happened the previous night. ... It'd be a medically true statement. For a guy who berates patients for lying, I can't see him withholding the most important truth about his own condition at this time. That it was something he thought was real, and that it involved Cuddy herself, I can see. That she'd helped him detox, even, is possible. That he'd had a sex-related delusion, though? That strikes me as something his pride would demand he not reveal. As for withholding info about his condition...well, everybody lies, right? *g* House breaks his own rules, when it suits him. We'll possibly find out in the fall, I guess.

All that said, I think this episode was a case in which the showrunners/writers are using purposeful ambiguity - I suspect they want to be able to move on from the 'ship' part of the storyline next season, and so had Cuddy realize she could never have that kind of relationship with House, and House know on some level that that's not truly "who he is" now. But they wanted to leave the other interpretive option open to give shippers a way to see a more congenial meaning - that House truly wants to be with Cuddy herself, but doesn't feel he can. Which is, IMO, similar in a way to the step away from H/Cameron in "Love Hurts" - I saw it as Cameron not having a realistic view of House, and House being unwilling to pursue matters, but there was room then for shippers to believe he was pushing her away out of fear. Very much agree with all this. My take on the ships on this show: They built up the House/Cameron ship very quickly, effectively killed it with the date in “Love Hurts” and then gave it a very slow and protracted build down over the second and third seasons. The kiss in “Half Wit” was a goodbye present from DS to the Ham shippers. They built up the House/Cuddy ship slowly over the seasons, effectively killed it when Cuddy adopted Rachel in “JTTW” and then put the final nail in the coffin in this episode. The hallucination detox/ background story/kiss/sex was a goodbye present from DS to House/Cuddy shippers. House’s mental breakdown seems to be such a severe one that it ranks up there with his infarction in terms of life changing events and it’s going to cause him to permanently give up on even trying for a romantic relationship. And it’s clear that both he and Cuddy know that sex between them could never be a casual thing so I can’t imagine them ever sleeping with each other after this. They built up the House/Wilson ship slowly over the seasons, threatened to kill it when Wilson got together with Amber but quickly removed the threat when they killed her off. House giving Wilson his watch just as Chase and Cam exchanged rings was a crowning moment for their relationship. Though a sad moment, it is symbolic of House’s commitment to their relationship. It’s a welcome present from DS to House/Wilson and House/misery shippers. And speaking of the last scene, it was heart wrenching to see a shocked and beaten down House turning back to look at Wilson for some sign of reassurance from him and Wilson managing a brief hint of a smile. The scene took me back to “TSS” where Wilson asked him if he thought that things would work out between him and Danny and House said no but he wouldn’t be responsible if they didn’t. Here, House was asking him if things would work out for him. And Wilson told him they would, although I am sure he had his fears and doubts given his experience with Danny. I can't see House getting over the fact that Cuddy will put her daughter over him in canon. I agree. But even more importantly, I can’t imagine House wanting to be a father to anyone. Two things struck me as interesting about the hallucination. One was that he chose to include the detail about having Cuddy call her baby sitter. That told me that his subconscious wants to ensure that Rachel is being taken care of and that he doesn’t see Cuddy as a neglectful mother. Nevertheless, having made sure that of that, he turns into Cuddy’s baby. He was almost pouting on the couch when he was seeking a reassurance from her that he meant something to her. And when she was leaving, he imagined her saying that she was going to PPTH to take care of paperwork for him, not going home to check on Rachel. That told me he does want her all to himself. I think that is why he did not ask for her help when his delusion shattered, but rather asked her to escort him to Wilson when he was able to walk. He would feel too ashamed to ask for her help now and, in any case, she had told him that she wanted a limited professional relationship with him in the future. She might feel differently now, after the breakdown, but he will remember the decision she made to keep her distance from him even before she knew of his mental illness and that will become a further barrier between them. . I am guessing she suggested that they go to Wilson herself, took House to his office, briefly told Wilson that he was hallucinating and left. I can’t even imagine her participating in the discussion between them, let alone accompanying him on the drive to the facility. She now knows that House is hallucinating things about her and it’s in both their best interest that she not know the details. Also, she saw how vulnerable he was to her when he was holding on to her shoulder for support and resting his head on it. Cruel as it sounds that would be the worst time for her to be close to him and Cuddy knew that because we saw that she wasn’t holding his hand when she led him to Wilson’s office. I am guessing that Wilson suggested psychiatric care to House after he’d given him the important highlights of what he was experiencing, drove him there and stayed near the car because again, he knew that this was something House needed to do on his own. Wilson and Cuddy can't help him no matter how much they want to and they know that. Oh and I am happy for all the Chase/Cam shippers. Haven’t been thrilled about the PDH sperm plot (as someone up thread pointed out why not just keep a sweater or something). But Doris Egan took what she was given and did a good job of it. I found myself interested in their relationship for the first time in a long time. And it was a relief to see two relatively well adjusted and happy people in what has got to be the darkest episode of House. ETA: The latest twitter from Doris Egan says: “Want to thank everyone who tweeted nice tweets about the House finale. We only mindf*ck you because we love you. (Seriously.)”

They built up the House/Cuddy ship slowly over the seasons, effectively killed it when Cuddy adopted Rachel in “JTTW” and then put the final nail in the coffin in this episode. I think it's too soon to say that for certain, though it is my guess based on... And it’s clear that both he and Cuddy know that sex between them could never be a casual thing so I can’t imagine them ever sleeping with each other after this. I can't ever see sex happening between them now. Not for your reason but because in the media they really hyped this up. It had its own promo for goodness sake, they milked it for all it was worth and that just won't work twice. If they ever had sex for real it would be a big deal but I don't know how it would have the same tension and waiting from the fans feeling that this time had (whether you wanted it to happen because you're a fan of them, or you wanted to get it over with so the show can move on). I think they had one shot and they chose to take the delusion route, not that I'm complaining about that, but DS seems to get bored easily and now that he's taken almost a whole season to build up to this (unreal) moment, I don't see him going there again for real. That's the reason I think these last two episodes have been the climax for House and Cuddy. It’s a welcome present from DS to House/Wilson and House/misery shippers. Heh, I don't know about that, but it definately made me feel a lot better. Unlike last season, I'm in no hurry to get to season 6 and a resolution. Even with House at Mayfield, I feel pleasantly content with that ending. it was heart wrenching to see a shocked and beaten down House turning back to look at Wilson for some sign of reassurance from him and Wilson managing a brief hint of a smile. I think it was a nice parallel to not only last season's finale, but this season's premiere both of which ended with Wilson walking away from House. Now we have House walking away (though, not for the same type of reason) but Wilson not going anywhere. I loved that he managed to smile. It was showing that he wasn't walking out this time. I think he made it clear in Saviors that he wouldn't bail again, but that was talk, now a crisis has happened and he got to prove it.

I don't see how that ship could be any more sunk. The first of those three genetically blessed Chase babies could come along in Season 6. :wink:

It’s a welcome present from DS to House/Wilson and House/misery shippers. This is the first time I've seen the phrase "House/misery shippers". It has been bothering me that so many people want House to be broken beyond repair. I tend to be a pessimist, but I always hold out hope that there is some way for House to "improve". A lot of people have been through bad things, but somehow manage to live a fairly satisfying life. Why not House? This phrase helps me understand that there are quite a few reasons why different kinds of people like to watch this series.

I wouldn't say I ship House/misery but maybe House/ethical dilemmas both because that's what I enjoy seeing and also, right now, I think that's the best House is going to be able to do for a while. I don't know that anyone actually ships House/misery but that may be a way of saying House with his own problems is more interesting than House in a romantic pairing in which case I'd agree. But he's had plenty of misery. I'd rather see him get back to functioning and have some happy moments from his success at work and less pain for a while. Baby steps.

I've said I ship House/Misery but it's not serious. It's not like I'm an angst whore. What amazes me is that despite his misery he doesn't give up. It's his striving (back to the Sisyphus example I've used previously) and his unwillingness to give up, to continue fighting despite his misery that I love to see in his interactions against himself and his own natures.

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