* mods, I'm still learning English, so if you think my comment is too poorly written, please feel free to delete it at any time :oops: * I know I'm probably too late, but in the case someone is still interested in this thread, here are my two cents, and a question for you - about Amber. I read the previous posts, and I thank you all for making me notice things I wouldn't have noticed otherwise. I wish to ask you a question. In your opinion, how does this Amber relate with the one in House's Head/Wilson's Heart? In those episodes, too, she - as the Woman in Black and, later, as 'Amber'- could remember things, details, House couldn't, and helped him. In those episodes, too, she (im my opinion) probably represented an unconscious part of House's mind, while the Driver probably represented, so to speak, the driver of the bus that is House's head, i.e. his conscious. What changed? I keep wondering because back then I foolishly thought Amber was related with House's emotional sphere, especially about his ability to correctly interpret other people's emotions. Do you remember how she rebuked him for interpreting Wilson's behaviour as a sign of insecurity instead of genuine concern about him? This ability, in House, is defective. In HH/WH, in my opinion, it was shown that it was still there, still alive, but that had somehow gotten hurt sometime in the past and was left badly injured - and this emotional wound is mirrored in House's damaged leg, and in his phantom friend's broken leg that caused him to meet the buraku ('Son of a coma guy'). This wound turned House into someone similar to Apple, his patient in 'Not Cancer', someone who can see (who thinks he can see), but can't actually see, not clearly, whose world is dull, gray, ugly - because, for example, he can see only the guilt, and not the love in it ('Simple Explanation'), because he sees insecurity and not concern, because he sometimes sees Wilson's foolish, irrational, fierce love for him as mere 'need to be needed'. (I think Amber's obscure comment about 'The limp leading the blind' may apply not only to the POTW, but to the two of them too - 'Amber' the limp leading House the blind) Anyway, Season 4 'Amber' was a positive, constructive force, an ally that in the end convinced him to get off the bus - to come back to life. This 'Amber', on the other hand, is aggressive, manipulative and rancorous, and I wonder why. I suppose Poeia is right about House thinking he's a destructive force in the lives of people around him. In a way, he is - he surely is responsible for a lot of suffering - but instead of using his guilt and horror to become fully aware of it, to acknowledge the existance of this wound and that it can ruin both his life and the lives of the people he loves, to try to understand how he got this way, and how he can weaken this dark thing, he sunk deeper and deeper and his narcissistic wound got worse ('Painless'), to the point he started to view himself not 'only' as someone faulty or unworthy, but also as a sort of black hole that sucks the life out of those around him and can even kill them with no remorse, and this berserk 'Amber' behaves accordingly. I think House's guilt is so powerful that this thing has grown so much in his mind that it stopped being just a disability and has become an identity (Foreman: 'It's not an identity, it's a disability.' He's right.), swallowing up a part of House's personality that used to be essentially healthy, though isolated, crippled and veiled, making this 'Amber' look like she's possessed. Or maybe 'Amber' is still herself, but she's so desperate she has to take drastic measures in order to make House listen to her. I suppose such a figment of someone's psyche would normally threat his or her own safety - it would make him or her careless, it would put him or her in danger - as if it said "Talk to me, deal with me, or I'll kill you!" But, if we take Wilson's word about it ('97 Seconds') House, though he doesn't want to die, doesn't actually care if he lives... so, maybe, her only choice - the only way she could force him to react, to do something, was to threat the safety of someone he cares for. So... What's your opinion?

Winter, perhaps some of the stuff that follows may help with the question you raised, even though it doesn’t directly relate to it. (For what it’s worth, I think your English is just fine). In response to comments about House trying to kill Chase from the spoiler discussion thread (no spoilers): For House to have connected a strawberry allergy that Chase has with a stripper he hired 10 years earlier that he may (or may not) have had a clear recollection of (remember he was remembering candy names, not fruit flavors) is really, really being way to hard on himself. He was not trying to kill Chase. People 100 times a day wonder if there is some way to sabotage this or that in their imagination. But we never act on it. House was listening to his subconscious, unfiltered thoughts and subconsiously acted on them. MAYBE (or maybe not). Whatever happened in the aftermath, House blames himself for it to the point of not wanting to insert himself into the remainder of the case. He clearly recognizes that he may do somethign destructive without even realizing it But was House trying to kill Chase? Or was he blaming himself for something no normal, rational human being would ever actually put together? We've all talked about how it's absurd for Karamel to still be stripping, still use the same body butter, know for sure that Chase would do a body shot, etc. It isn't rational for House to want to kill Chase and it's even more irrational for House to think that's what he wanted to do, much less for the reason implied. But since hallucinations and delusions aren't noted for their rationality, that's not surprising. (Unless, of course, my last hotline caller's neighbor really was a witch trying to poison her thoughts through the wall.) The fact is, House tried to mess with Wilson/Amber, and then by Living the Dream, had backed off of anything more than a joke when he realized Wilson was genuinely happy. He tried to break up Stacy and Mark, and then gave up and sent her back when he realized he would never be what she wanted and needed. House made it so Foreman and Thirteen could continue to work together well. Cameron and Chase might well have stayed broken up if House hadn't told her to go and talk to Chase at the end of Saviors, and when House realizes that Chase was hurt at the bachelor party, his instinctive reaction is to be openly concerned about that - not even burying it in a joke. What fauxAmber says doesn't really match up with everything House does, and the fact that House is convinced that he can only be valued for his diagnostic skill doesn't match up with how many people genuinely care about him. I agree with all this. I do think that House distrusts happiness but more for himself than anyone else. And when it comes right down to it, I don’t think he would ever wish that kind of harm to come to Chase. Or anyone else, for that matter. What the bath tub scene told me is that deep down, he has doubts about just how good a human being he is. And I think that doubt has substantial roots in the guilt he feels about his role in Amber’s death. Yes, his rational side knows that the chain of events starting from his drunken call to Wilson and ending in her death on the bus is a weak one. But he can’t get over the fact that he did start out by resenting her presence in Wilson’s life and that he behaved in a stubborn and childish way when he refused her ride when she came to pick him up from the bar. The writers brilliantly revisited the theme of House reading too much meaning into a semi-random set of coincidences with the Chase incident. Like in Amber’s case, he starts wondering if there’s some reason he resents Chase and wants to kill him. I don’t think he resents Chase and I don’t think he wanted to kill him. I think the other aspect to all of this relates to the idea that House sees a bit of himself in Chase and Kutner. Especially Kutner, I think, because he was always passionate about the medicine, solved so many cases, defied the rules and had hobbies outside work that he was passionate about. But Kutner killed himself despite all this and despite the fact that he seemed to have many friends. So to House, Kutner represents the idea that no matter how much he loves his job and his music and his monster trucks and no matter how hard he tries to make changes in his personal and emotional life, there is still no hope for him. On the other hand, Chase has made his professional and personal life come together over the years despite all the issues he had when he first joined House’s team. House has been a witness to this growth and so Chase gives House a reason for feeling hopeful and positive, for holding on and striving for change. In that sense, House’s fear that he somehow wanted to kill Chase may also have been his fear that he will end up sabotaging his own chance at any kind of happiness and kill all hope.

Anyway, Season 4 'Amber' was a positive, constructive force, an ally that in the end convinced him to get off the bus - to come back to life. This 'Amber', on the other hand, is aggressive, manipulative and rancorous, and I wonder why. My take on the differences is that House required different things of his subconscious. What we saw of Amber in the fourth season as House's interior monologue was an Amber that was trying to fill gaps in his memory and solve a puzzle. It was a very specific need. This time it's multiple causes. House cannot pin down what exactly is happening to him. He tries to blame lack of sleep, but that's not it. He feared he was losing his mojo but that wasn't it strictly. He's suffered through multiple emotional (and to an extent physical) traumas. There's no one thing that's plaguing him, so the hallucinations and his subconscious are all encompassing. They take in his entire world -- not merely one missing gap in his world.

maya - another eloquent post, as usual: What the bath tub scene told me is that deep down, he has doubts about just how good a human being he is. And I think that doubt has substantial roots in the guilt he feels about his role in Amber’s death. Yes, his rational side knows that the chain of events starting from his drunken call to Wilson and ending in her death on the bus is a weak one. But he can’t get over the fact that he did start out by resenting her presence in Wilson’s life and that he behaved in a stubborn and childish way when he refused her ride when she came to pick him up from the bar. The writers brilliantly revisited the theme of House reading too much meaning into a semi-random set of coincidences with the Chase incident. Like in Amber’s case, he starts wondering if there’s some reason he resents Chase and wants to kill him. I don’t think he resents Chase and I don’t think he wanted to kill him. I think the other aspect to all of this relates to the idea that House sees a bit of himself in Chase and Kutner. Especially Kutner, I think, because he was always passionate about the medicine, solved so many cases, defied the rules and had hobbies outside work that he was passionate about. But Kutner killed himself despite all this and despite the fact that he seemed to have many friends. So to House, Kutner represents the idea that no matter how much he loves his job and his music and his monster trucks and no matter how hard he tries to make changes in his personal and emotional life, there is still no hope for him. On the other hand, Chase has made his professional and personal life come together over the years despite all the issues he had when he first joined House’s team. House has been a witness to this growth and so Chase gives House a reason for feeling hopeful and positive, for holding on and striving for change. In that sense, House’s fear that he somehow wanted to kill Chase may also have been his fear that he will end up sabotaging his own chance at any kind of happiness and kill all hope. House is secretly - and maybe not so secretly - riddled with self-doubt about anything having to do with interpersonal relationships. By using his strong suit, his intellect, he analyzes and overanalyzes every facet of people, their lives, and his relationships with them to gain any advantage he can in interacting with them. (This overanalyzing was challenged by Wilson in TSC: "I'd like there to be one molecule of my life that goes unexamined by Gregory House.") After House fired Amber, she returned to serve, in Life, in BusPurgatory, and now in Death as a device to help him re-evaluate who he really is and what is really important to him. In Life, as Wilson's girlfriend, she forced him to evaluate whether or not he could accept the happiness of someone who is important to him (Wilson), without endlessly trying to sabotage it. In BusPurgatory, in his conversation with Amber, House concluded that "I don't want to be in pain; I don't want to be miserable; and I don't want him (Wilson) to hate me." In Death, Amber once again makes House think about who he is, what motivates him to do the things he does, and what really matters to him. Why did the chain of events culminating in Amber's death happen? Why did the Chase incident happen? Why does House seemingly try to sabotage the happiness of the people he ostensibly cares about the most? Amber's function is absolutely pivotal in exposing the deepest part of House we have (and will) see to date, so I can see why Doris Egan said that "House Divided" set the bar. I like your analogy of Kutner and DoomedToMiseryHouse. I'm not sure if he concludes that there is "no hope for him" because Kutner's life ended in suicide, although it's likely that House has thought of suicide in the past, and it's possible more of these ideations will be revealed before S5 concludes. And I love your analogy of Chase and FromMiseryToHappinessHouse. House's statements in BusPurgatory and his actions in S5 seem to indicate that he's considering Happiness as an alternative to Misery. I agree that Chase is exemplifying this, and that House can't understand why he would again try to sabotage the happiness of someone he cares about, when he was able to make baby steps toward not doing that with Wilson/Amber's relationship. Seeing Chase in himself in that regard would make sense.

By HL61159, Amber's function is absolutely pivotal in exposing the deepest part of House... To House, Amber! is worth years of psychoanalysis in facing his demons and flaws and we get to watch.

maya, Namaste, HL61159, thank you for your help. I can see more clearly now. maya: For what it’s worth, I think your English is just fine Thank you, you're too kind. So to House, Kutner represents the idea that no matter how much he loves his job and his music and his monster trucks and no matter how hard he tries to make changes in his personal and emotional life, there is still no hope for him. I know I'm probably going a little too off-topic, and I know it's probably too trite and silly to be true, but I think that by trying to prove that Kutner was murdered - that his death was caused by someone else - he was trying to convince himself he won't necessarily end up wrecking his life with his own hands. Namaste: There's no one thing that's plaguing him, so the hallucinations and his subconscious are all encompassing. They take in his entire world -- not merely one missing gap in his world. I think you're right. That's stifling. HL61159: although it's likely that House has thought of suicide in the past In 'Simple Explanation' when Cuddy pointed out how similar House and Kutner were, he protested that 'If he thought like me he would have known that living in misery sucks marginally less than dying in it.' It's probably just me, but that sentence sounded more like a sort of desperate attempt to convince himself not to go down that road, too, than like an ardent defense of life and hope against the definitive decision to give up all options and just get over with it. By the way, I got a very similar feeling in '97 Seconds'. When his patient said 'I'd rather just get this over with. I've been trapped in this useless body long enough. It'd be nice to finally get out.' I swear I was sure House was thinking about himself, and he reacted almost aggressively not because of his patient's 'idiocy', but because he knew well how he was feeling, and maybe did not want his own mind to linger on the same thought too long. And maybe reassuring himself there's no afterlife was a way to convince himself to hold on, and that giving up would be pointless and irrational. Later he told Wilson that 'Misery is better than nothing'... a line similar to that in 'Simple Explanation', but with a difference: that in SE misery was only 'marginally' better than nothing.

jim said: To House, Amber! is worth years of psychoanalysis in facing his demons and flaws and we get to watch. House chooses not to have these conversations with anyone in his circle, so Amber is used by TPTB as a plot device to allow us to be privy to his introspection. Using her as a plot device is brilliant, really, because in addition to allowing us inside House's Head (again...coming full circle with the end of S4), it brings back a popular character, arguably one of the most popular ducklings, old or new, hired or fired, dead or alive, AND quickly shifts the focus away (somewhat) from the other dead duck, Kutner and his suicide. Brilliant plot device. Just brilliant. Jump the shark, my ass. The last few episodes of this season are unfolding in a way that challenges me as a viewer, are smart and funny, interesting and believable, and maybe a little scary. But with this troubled, layered character that is House, we knew that as time went on, for the story to move forward, more and more of the layers would have to be peeled away, and we're not sure we want to see what's revealed. Yeah. It's just what I want from a television show (or book, play, movie, etc.) Winter said: In 'Simple Explanation' when Cuddy pointed out how similar House and Kutner were, he protested that 'If he thought like me he would have known that living in misery sucks marginally less than dying in it.' It's probably just me, but that sentence sounded more like a sort of desperate attempt to convince himself not to go down that road, too, than like an ardent defense of life and hope against the definitive decision to give up all options and just get over with it. By the way, I got a very similar feeling in '97 Seconds'. When his patient said 'I'd rather just get this over with. I've been trapped in this useless body long enough. It'd be nice to finally get out.' I swear I was sure House was thinking about himself, and he reacted almost aggressively not because of his patient's 'idiocy', but because he knew well how he was feeling, and maybe did not want his own mind to linger on the same thought too long. And maybe reassuring himself there's no afterlife was a way to convince himself to hold on, and that giving up would be pointless and irrational. Later he told Wilson that 'Misery is better than nothing'... a line similar to that in 'Simple Explanation', but with a difference: that in SE misery was only 'marginally' better than nothing. I considered these quotes and situations when I made my statement that House has likely had suicidal ideation. He can still have had thoughts about suicide and make statements indicating that living in misery is better than dying in it, and that misery is better than nothing. I think he struggles at times to find ways not to allow himself to go down that path. And rather than feeling nothing, being miserable is feeling "something". We know he can't commit suicide or there would be no show "House", but I think there is no doubt that the Kutner suicide stirred some of his repressed thoughts on the issue.

I considered these quotes and situations when I made my statement that House has likely had suicidal ideation. <...> I think he struggles at times to find ways not to allow himself to go down that path. I'm glad we agree. I thought I read too much into them. :)

I have a hard time thinking of House throwing parties (just as I had at him playing golf before the infarction-he just doesn't seem the type). So he probably throwed Wilson's second bachelor party (not the first as they hadn't meet in canon, not the third as Wilson said he and his wife eloped to avoid House party). And it seems to have been several parties, as Wilson says "any time I attend one of your parties, I seem to embarass myself..." Do you have an idea for who, and at what time House could have thrown parties? During Stacy time? Before? Anobody with a vivid imagination could write a fanfiction, maybe?

The scrip Wilson gives House for his insomnia is Zolpidem 200MG. The directionare are “Take one capsule by mouth three times daily for 10 days until all taken.” I just looked it up. Zolpidem is Ambien. It comes in 5MG and 10MG capsules. The dosage is one without food at bedtime. Fortuantely House threw them out but I want to know why Wilson is trying to kill House.

After watching the DVD extras on how they shot the opening scene, I'm even more impressed -- with the way they staged it, with the use of the side-by-side cameras and fast cuts to get a visual representation of Seth's point of view. Clever of them to hang the lights outside, over the oh-so-convenient skylights rather than rigging lights inside the gym. (Even cleverer not to melt the roof. Heh.) I didn't realize that both the actor who played Seth and the actress who played his girlfriend were actually deaf (in the girl's instance, a non-professional recruited from one of the deaf schools in LA). And I'm impressed that they also cast many of the extras who were deaf or hearing impaired. Interesting to get Yaitanes' input on how that affected communication. Did we know at that time that the actors were deaf?