5.01 - Dying Changes Everything

I think the key here, though, is that the 2 months of silence begin in WH, when Wilson turns away and House is medically incapable of following him. If Wilson wanted to seek him out, he'd have had about two weeks when House was in the hospital and couldn't really have avoided him. By the time House was able to seek Wilson out, Wilson's avoidance would already have been pretty noticeable, especially given that he was in the hospital because of Wilson. And we know from the hallucibus scene that he was worried about losing Wilson, and I think we can assume that in the weeks after, he'd have followed Wilson's lead in doing what he thought would be "safest" for their relationship. So I do think the onus was on Wilson to be the one contacting House first. In DCE, we really don't see House avoiding Wilson at all; he resists a couple of demands that he seek Wilson out, but he doesn't avoid him. Wilson, on the other hand, repeatedly walks out on House. The two weeks you speak of would have been the same two weeks when Wilson was contacting Amber’s family arranging and attending Amber's funeral and observing a period of mourning. It's not has if Wilson was avoiding House but had nothing else going on in his own life. House feared losing Wilson, Wilson was in the midst of dealing with the fact that he had actually lost Amber. Why is that always minimized in these discussions? Since when does House wait to follow anyone's lead? House’s fear of Wilson's hating him is what likely kept him away even after he recuperated. No news is good news and the more time Wilson is without him perhaps the more he will have forgiven him and be over Amber’s death when they see each other. Wilson was avoiding House but House was avoiding Wilson too. Neither one had the onus on them to contact the other; the truth is they didn't want to see each other because they both were trying to figure out what now? They both knew that and they both feared the answer. Two way street, baby. Wilson walked out on House just once at the end when there was nothing else to do. Wilson left the first conversation because he was meeting with another doctor on his cases and after 13 had interrupted them to try and get House to come about their patient. House left the second conversation to go and deal with his patient. In the couples counseling it was Cuddy that Wilson was getting away from. Hell, they we're both trying to get away from her. And House wasn't saying anything anyway. His best is to endanger a patient's life? No arguments that it was a majorly sucky move (though I'm still planning to rewatch for evidence for and against my theory that he'd already diagnosed her). But I wonder if there wasn't more underlying that move. He's not just risking the patient's life -- he's offering up the one thing he's confident in. I don't think it was just saying "the friendship is more important than the job"; I think this was House's version of "the only thing I've got to give". It's certainly something that House thinks is more important than his squishy feelings -- not the job per se, but his expertise, his diagnostic value. What value is that to Wilson at this time? What does it have to do with what he’s going thru? What they are both going thru? House said it pure and simple, to both Wilson and Cuddy, he was trying to appeal to Wilson's conscience. Trying to make him feel guilty because he thought it would work like it always had before. But Wilson had already decided that the enabling was going to stop, if House wanted to hurt his medical career and the life of his patient then that was on House to decide and to deal with the repercussions. I'm sure Wilson has convinced himself that what he's doing is the right thing Which is the biggest problem. We've all seen several times how that conviction on Wilson's part tends to work out for House and everyone else around him. Just as we've all seen as many times if not more how the conviction on House’s part that he’s doing the right thing tends to work out for Wilson and everyone else around him. I guess that's why they're perfect for each other.

What value is that to Wilson at this time? What does it have to do with what he’s going thru? What they are both going thru? House said it pure and simple, to both Wilson and Cuddy, he was trying to appeal to Wilson's conscience. Trying to make him feel guilty because he thought it would work like it always had before. But Wilson had already decided that the enabling was going to stop, if House wanted to hurt his medical career and the life of his patient then that was on House to decide and to deal with the repercussions. No value to him maybe, but it's all House had to give. It's been stated how wrong it was to walk away from the patient, but he was still offering what he had at that moment. He said he was trying to appeal to Wilson's conscience, but he also said that Wilson's friendship meant more than the patient, and I think he was being honest about that. It's manipulative, but it's not just to make him feel guilty. If Wilson's friendship wasn't important and wasn't part of the motivation (and to actually say it was a big deal for House) he could have said he was doing it to stop Wilson from being an idiot or something like that. And, I'm not sure, as bad a decision as it was, what else House could have done at that moment. It was going to take him until the very end to be open and vulnerable about how he felt about Amber's death and to apologize (which ultimately wasn't the problem) for it. That's not an excuse, it just is what it is. Being open and vulnerable doesn't come naturally to House, so it would be the very last thing he tried. I don't mean tried as in another tactic, just that he hadn't reached the point where he was capable of doing that. Even if he hadn't left a patient, it would have been some other convoluted thing before he was emotionally ready to do be open and honest and address what he thought the issue was - Amber's death. Of course Wilson isn't responsible for House not doing his job, and it's not helpful to Wilson. And of course it was the wrong approach, but in his own twisted way, it's House saying that he'll miss Wilson and doesn't want him to leave or hate him.

Rewatched several times
After rewatching, I have a theory. I'm going to white it out because it is my own personal conjecture and I'm not sure how many people want to read it in case I wind up being right: I think Hadley knew the patient before. Specifically, I think they had a romantic involvement before, and here are the reasons I think I'm right: 1. The first thing Remy does is call her a "strong career woman" and defend her; she also opts for a very mild diagnosis (b12 deficiency) which looks like wishful thinking to me. 2. When she pulls the PotW's gown down to give her the shot of b12, the patient shoots her a look that reads (to me): "We've been here before." The first time I watched it, I thought, "Wow, that's a strange look for her to be giving Hadley. Is she hitting on her, or something?" 3. When she speaks to the PotW alone, she addresses her with a personal tone. When others are in the room (like Taub), she appears more professional but when just the two of them are talking, it's like they know each other. 4. The PotW says, "I'm not like you." O, rly? How do you know if you don't know her? 5. Hadley says, "You're better than that." O, rly? Ditto. 6. When PotW turns up pregnant and Hadley comments, PotW asks, "Are you making excuses for me?" Her tone and the comment itself seems to be far more intimate than doctor/patient. 7. EVERYONE assumes Hadley's response to this case has to do with her own diagnosis. I think it has just as much to do with the thought of PotW dying, and PotW's career path/potential; I think Hadley has more of a personal investment in this PotW than I've seen her have with any other on the show. (Now, let's see if House will pick up on this...) It is now officially in my personal canon that this PotW is also a bisexual woman, and that she and Hadley have had some kind of involvement in the past.

No value to him maybe, but it's all House had to give... Being open and vulnerable doesn't come naturally to House, so it would be the very last thing he tried. I don't mean tried as in another tactic, just that he hadn't reached the point where he was capable of doing that. Even if he hadn't left a patient, it would have been some other convoluted thing before he was emotionally ready to do be open and honest and address what he thought the issue was - Amber's death. Of course Wilson isn't responsible for House not doing his job, and it's not helpful to Wilson. And of course it was the wrong approach, but in his own twisted way, it's House saying that he'll miss Wilson and doesn't want him to leave or hate him. The point is it isn't all he had to give. He did have his actual feelings about what had happen. But he was too fearful to be honest about those so he did what he always does manipulate someone (Wilson) to make them do the heavy lifting. The fact that is the last thing he would try and instead pull a stunt, however heartfelt and with whatever meaning behind it, is the problem that has to be addressed which is why Wilson didn't go for it this time, he sees it for what it is and says that's blackmail, not friendship, and it's on you. Even though Wilson wasn't actually leaving because he was blaming House, it was House's finally being honest about what had happened and how he felt that ultimately compelled Wilson to tell House what he was really thinking and feeling. Being open doesn't actually come that easily to Wilson either, not about his own feelings. As hard as it was to say, as was what House had to say, they both needed it to be said. House somewhat short circuited the process when Wilson first told him his decision. While House was trying to be understanding but also deflecting it away from anything that had to do with him. He continued to do so every time he called Wilson an idiot. This has become their problem they aren't friends anymore in a true sense they are a person who acts out and a person who tries to clean up the mess. They maintained that for a long enough time because it worked for each of them on some level, but with what it has now cost them, it no longer works for Wilson and I suspect that's true of House too. We're not really disagreeing it's just the point has been reached where the excuses and rational of what passes for House reaching out to someone, the games, the binges, the middle of the night calls, are not going to work anymore where Wilson is concerned. That I think is part of what shocks House at the end.

The point is it isn't all he had to give. He did have his actual feelings about what had happen. But he was too fearful to be honest about those so he did what he always does manipulate someone (Wilson) to make them do the heavy lifting. It's all he was capable of at the moment. Sure, he had the physical ability to talk about how he was feeling, but that's only part of what would make the action possible. Especially if the action is hard. Being fearful meant he couldn't be honest at that point until he pushed past the fear. Doing something your afraid of isn't easy and does sometimes take time and going through all other avenues that you go through to avoid it. So, he wasn't capable until he actually did it. The scene at the end couldn't have happened any earlier in the episode. The fact that is the last thing he would try and instead pull a stunt, however heartfelt and with whatever meaning behind it, is the problem that has to be addressed which is why Wilson didn't go for it this time, he sees it for what it is and says that's blackmail, not friendship, and it's on you. I don't mind Wilson saying that. Wilson shouldn't have to stay because House patients might die if he leaves. That would be the wrong reason for staying. It's just that what House does wrong and when he's being an ass gets brought up and analyzed and criticized, and yes, the man gives everyone more than enough ammunition in that regard. But, when he's being open or anything else, it usually isn't. Usually because it's couched in the same jerky behavior. I'm not saying or trying to say how this was helpful or good for Wilson (and, well, the benefit to Wilson is really secondary in my concern, sorry). I just don't believe it was all about blackmail or a stunt in House's mind (or heart, which is more appropriate, even if it sounds sappy) even though it was blackmail and a stunt. But, it doesn't mean there wasn't deep meaning behind it. In it's own twisted, unethical way, to me it says a lot about how House values Wilson's friendship, even if it's not something that someone in Wilson's position would appreciate. We're not really disagreeing it's just the point has been reached where the excuses and rational of what passes for House reaching out to someone, the games, the binges, the middle of the night calls, are not going to work anymore where Wilson is concerned. That I think is part of what shocks House at the end. I wasn't trying to say what works or not. It's just part of my stance as a House apologist to have record of when House is trying, when there's something more, even when it's in the midst of a whole lot of inappropriateness. So, along with the criticism of why House's behavior and tactics were wrong through the episode -and my focus is on this episode- is valid, I just need what I think was in House's heart (man, I expect House to come and whack me when I write that) when he's doing those things to be stated.

On rewatch
"You have me standing beside you." What the heck is this Women's Majority group supposed to be doing anyway? What kind of international feminist group lets its president represent the "bad guys"? In the teaser meeting, Michener sounded more like someone paid to advise them on spin control than like the Dworkin-type House described her as. It's also odd that the meeting was happening in some random building rather than either of their headquarters. And why was she calling Foreman? Even if we assume she was trying to call House directly and Foreman picked up, she seems like the type who'd try to call Cuddy directly instead. House says: "He wanted time alone. I considered being a horrendous pain in the ass, but didn't want to tread on your turf." So they were somehow in contact, at least briefly, after the end of WH. And unless you think House is lying, I don't see how that can be interpreted any way other than "the silence was by Wilson's choice". Who is this Seagal guy (or gal) anyway, that Cuddy would give the case to hir instead of to Foreman, if she wanted to bypass House? Hadley's starch comment is even more offensive on the second watch. She's close to wiping out any residual points I gave her for the porpoise porn so long ago. (*boo hiss* for the automatic filter edits) Taub to Kutner: "Stop grinning and talk." Hee. Normally, I don't care for Taub, and I do like Kutner, but I can bet that's not the first time people have wanted to say that to him. I loved the patient's attitude about her sex life. Not the choices I'd have made, but whatever choices you make, you should have that attitude toward them. I also love how obvious it is that House is dismayed and distracted during the differential -- and how obvious it is that even with 90 percent of his brain on Wilson, the 10% left is still more than enough for him to follow the differential. And I love the expressions on the patient's face when he's explaining the ectopic pregnancy. Three times House mentions that Wilson is torpedo-ing his career with this move. I get that department head jobs aren't so common that he'd be able to get another quickly. But still, if his career has otherwise been so bright, why would giving this job up be such a problem? I didn't get the feeling House was intentionally exaggerating, rather that he genuinely thinks that's one of the reasons leaving would be idiotic (and an easier reason to focus on than his own feelings). House's own rocky career clouding his perspective? And Wilson didn't bother to respond to that point -- because he thought it was stupid and irrelevant, or because he agreed there was a risk and didn't want to have to defend his decision? Unsurprisingly, Chase still rocks on rewatch. :-) And although I won't normally argue for OW's acting skills, I was impressed by how obvious her chagrin was when Chase glared at her, despite the face mask and lack of lines. The pager -- House doesn't seem surprised or evenly remotely curious at the news that she'd gone into cardiac arrest, so yeah, I'm going with the theory that he'd already diagnosed her. And despite my liking for the patient, they completely failed to load any sense of suspense over House walking out on her while his team panicked. They won't be getting any Emmys for the background music in this ep. "If he was here, we'd be asking him what to do." Taub may be growing on me after all. In this ep, he seems to be displaying a respect for House's expertise and authority that we don't often see from the younger doctors -- not a respect for House personally, but more a sense (appropriate from an established professional like Taub) that House wouldn't have got where he is without having earned it. This certainly wasn't the case in "Ugly". Cancel that pager theory -- he didn't diagnose her beforehand. He had his epiphany while talking to Cuddy, when he was looking over her shoulder toward the patient's room. What on Earth is Hadley talking about when she asks "You really think she can change?" What should she and why and what would Hadley know about it? We saw in the teaser that she wasn't sweetness and light, but Hadley talks as if Michener is established as an abuser and there's no on-screen reason for her to think so. I was hoping the rewatch would make the Michener bits make more sense to me, but it hasn't. The only reason I can think of for Hadley calling her an idiot near the end is that, like Cuddy and House at the beginning, she's influenced by prior knowledge. But if TPTB are going to make Hadley's attitude such a big part of the ep, they need to do a better job of explaining what that prior influence is. I don't think Wilson was trying to be cruel, not even cruel-to-be-kind, in his misery speech. I think it was just his usual habit of telling House what's wrong with him without thinking about how his words will be heard. The "not friends" part really doesn't bother me all that much, because if he believes what he's said earlier, it's the right thing for him to do. It's the fact that he does believe what he said earlier that's the problem for me. His line about manipulation and relationships is just so hypocritical and his misery speech so insanely dense, inaccurate, and uncompassionate that even on rewatch, I'm too busy boggling and wanting to slap him to have any sympathy for him during the rest of the scene. By the time he grabs his box, I'm only just starting to recover from the misery line.

House feared losing Wilson, Wilson was in the midst of dealing with the fact that he had actually lost Amber. Why is that always minimized in these discussions? I don't think it's minimized, it's just not accepted as a blanket that everything else can be swept under. Since when does House wait to follow anyone's lead? He does so quite frequently, when the context is something emotional or interpersonal. Offhand, I can't think of a single occasion when he's taken action in an interpersonal context without knowing what the other person wanted him to do or what interested bystanders thought he ought to do. Wilson walked out on House just once at the end when there was nothing else to do. Wilson left the first conversation because he was meeting with another doctor on his cases Wilson was in the middle of writing his resignation, then suddenly announces that he's late for a meeting (that he apparently wasn't concerned about a few minutes previously) and leaves the letter unfinished on his desk. House wasn't in his office that long; if this meeting really existed, wouldn't he have been prepping for it when House arrived? The couples counseling: Wilson tries to walk out the minute he sees House in the room, but Cuddy stops him; when they try to stand up simultaneously, it's actually Wilson who moves to get up first; he's silent when House is willing to talk about the subject (if not about his actual feelings); and the scene ends when he walks out. I could easily believe he was just walking out on Cuddy if his successful walk-out had been his only attempt, but not when we take it in context. And House wasn't saying anything anyway. Nothing Wilson or Cuddy wanted to hear, perhaps, but he was talking. He's certainly capable (and usually willing) of being as stubborn and close-mouthed as Wilson was in that scene, but he's the one who asks "So what do you want to tell us?", he's the one who explains why Cuddy's idea won't work by saying "What you don't face can't crush you." Maybe he's not baring his soul, but he is at least discussing the actual subject, while the only comment Wilson makes is the critique of Cuddy's manipulation. And Wilson walks out as soon as Cuddy focuses her attention on him. So I'd say that House was a lot more open to the idea than Wilson; he thought it was idiotic, sure, but he was willing to follow Cuddy's lead. What value is that to Wilson at this time? What Bessie Mae said. :-) In itself, it's worth nothing to Wilson, but in House's mind, he doesn't have anything else that would be of value to Wilson either. The guilt is why House thought it might work, but not what makes the tactic emotionally significant for House. Just as we've all seen as many times if not more how the conviction on House’s part that he’s doing the right thing tends to work out for Wilson and everyone else around him. The difference for me is that with House, the negative results tend to be indirect consequences of House doing something that he doesn't just think is right but actually is right (at least if we accept the show's premises that integrity matters and that saving lives is more important than following rules, which I do). With Wilson, the negative results are more likely to be direct consequences of decisions that at best, I just can't justify (though others may), and at worst, canon shows us to be just plain wrong. And, I'm not sure, as bad a decision as it was, what else House could have done at that moment. Seriously! He'd already told Cuddy that he'd tried to talk to Wilson, and Wilson wasn't interested. And Cuddy's demanding he "DO" something. Do what, hire a skywriter? How many times can you keep bugging someone who's said they want space before you indeed become a monumental pain in the ass? I have no doubt that if Wilson's reaction hadn't included resigning and House had been the one wanting to talk to him, Cuddy would have been telling him to leave Wilson alone and give him time. He did have his actual feelings about what had happen. But he was too fearful to be honest about those The point is that House didn't think his actual feelings were of worth to the situation or to Wilson. Sure he was fearful about expressing them, but he didn't express them not because of fear but because he didn't think it would do any good, and he thought the guilt would work. And at the end, he still doesn't expect the feelings thing to work, but it's what Cuddy's been telling him to do and he's out of other ideas. Surely he's not less afraid at the end than he was earlier; I don't think it's fear that stops him earlier, but that he thinks (and Wilson has told him) that it would be futile. I do think the scene at the end could have happened earlier if Wilson hadn't responded so flippantly when House asked if his apology would matter. Probably not right then, but I think House might have foregone the patient tactic and instead went off to try to work up the nerves and the words. It's just that what House does wrong and when he's being an ass gets brought up and analyzed and criticized, and yes, the man gives everyone more than enough ammunition in that regard. But, when he's being open or anything else, it usually isn't. Word. I have a long history of being true neutral -- I'm metaphysically required to speak up for whichever side I see getting short shrift. :-) House and Wilson are equally flawed, but House gets called on his flaws far more often and far more harshly without getting equal credit for his virtues, while IMO the opposite is true for Wilson. Re: Aithlyn's comments (I'm not sure why they should be white-barred, but the practice is probably good for me *g* ) She does call her a strong career woman, but seems to change her mind pretty quickly once she finds out what her career entails (starch tickets and setting appointments). And the patient says "Maybe you have wings"; I don't think that "maybe" would be there if they'd met previously. I totally agree that there was a sense of intimate connection there, but I think it was just a result of Hadley's scripted unprofessionalism combined with chemistry between the actresses. Which isn't to say I couldn't be convinced by a good fanfic that set up the scenario. It would also explain some of the problems with Michener that I mentioned above.

Bedawyn - He'd already told Cuddy that he'd tried to talk to Wilson, and Wilson wasn't interested. And Cuddy's demanding he "DO" something. Wouldn't that be because he had come to Cuddy demanding she 'do' something administrative to hold Wilson back instead? Wilson was leaving for personal reasons, and there was only one person in the hospital with the power to hold him back, if at all: House.

Just rewatched this and am crying from those last scenes. Those guys just broke my heart again, even though I know everything that's happened since. Being in that moment with them is so powerful and unescapable. My god, they are good. So good. I just feel all the sadness in the world right now.

Has Wilson always had a plant in his office? I noticed it in the last few episodes and got a laugh out of the possibility that he took House's not-so-friendly advice in DCE to "buy a plant" if he wants a change of scenery :lol: Wilson's office is part of a set change (which was done in the August break between Last Resort and Let Them Eat Cake). They made it a bit bigger (big enough to house a coffee table in front of the couch now and three movie posters instead of two. House's two offices have both become slightly bigger as well. (Good thing I never finished that layout ) :cry: ETA: Which is totally irrelevant for this thread, sorry. I had multiple tabs open and didn't realize this was the season premiere thread. :oops:

Has Wilson always had a plant in his office? As far as I noticed, the plant first appearance was in Let Them Eat The Cake, but since the previous episodes didn't show much of Wilson's office, it's hard to tell when he brought it in or if it was a present. There was no plant in L13, I'm quite sure, though. It maybe means, in Wilson's sort of sarcastic, passive-agressive, mood that he still wants a change of scenery, and it may be also useful to remind House how insensitive he was about the whole thing, from Wilson's POV - so the plant is a guilt trip aimed to House. Or I'm just over analysing :roll: and maybe Wilson just finally realized that what was really missing in his life was a plant...

Or one of the set dressers has a puckish sense of humor, added the plant and people let it stay.

It was that Wilson had looked back over the entirety of their relationship, saw that it involved a lot of House "spreading misery" and Wilson enabling that, and did not know if that could be called friendship. True, but it was House's behaviour in the time after Amber's death triggered that evaluation. Not his behaviour at the time but two months later in Dying Changes Everything. Wilson was still having a tough time and wanted a change of scenery and House told him to buy a plant. That's the behaviour that caused Wilson to re-think their relationship. Wilson's been okay with that for a lot of years but I've been thinking since Son of a Coma Guy that mental health for Wilson (and now for Cuddy) involves distancing themselves from House rather than enabling him. That's not what Wilson said in DCE. He said that when he had told House/everyone he wanted to leave for a change of scenery, that he had said that to protect House. Thus indicating that he had re-evaluated his relationship with House before returning to PPTH, before seeing House again. It was Amber's death that triggered Wilson's re-evaluation. Not because House caused Amber's death, but because now a person had been killed as "collateral damage" in the relationship that both House and Wilson had built. Wilson started out in his thinking trying to blame House but came to the conclusion that it was the whole of the relationship that was unhealthy, and it had to end. The above is all based on what Wilson said in DCE. House throws his own spin on it in Birthmarks and given that Wilson comes back without discussing the very real issues he raised in DCE, I'm forced to come to the reluctant conclusion that House was probably right, and what Wilson said in DCE was not the real reason for him leaving. Which sucks.

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