My cold, black heart wasn't moved--much. Amber's death scene was heartwrenching. House not wanting to get off the bus broke my heart but other than that I was oddly unmoved by the rest of it. I must be a crappy person. I can't seem to work up enough interest to care about Thirteen or her problems. Kutner and Taub don't do it for me either. Maybe after a good think I'll feel differently.

It's interesting how easy it was for him to almost convince himself that he did have an affair with Amber. And I answer this with an Oscar Wilde quote: To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. I'm really glad they had Thirteen do the -*test*-('") and made it positive. Anything else would have been a cop-out. I think I was waiting for a negative Huntington’s -*test*-('"), but have the -*test*-('") come back positive for something else.

I'm expecting a lot of Wilson-is-a-bastard-and-doesn't-really-love-House fic Oh, yeah. That's what I'm expecting too. how many consider the death!bus to just be House's subconscious, thus meaning he himself believes that he deserves to be hated by Wilson? I think that. I'm not saying House does deserve to be hated by Wilson but I think he thinks he does and that too, is so very, very sad. Jeez, I just keep finding more things to be depressed about in this episode.

No doubt Nekocat that House feels to blame and wishes it were him. What he does about that now and his fear that Wilson will hate him is key.

Hey, I'm not one who is sympathetic to House no matter what he does, I don't apologize for him but this was in not his fault. Well, technically it was but no rational (which Wilson is definately not right now) person could blame him. It was an accident, it was a series of unfortunate events. I don't blame him for this and I felt bad for him at the end Exactly. House could have just as easily been sitting on the side of the bus where the car hit and it would have been him - CTB could have walked out with a fractured skull instead. And when Wilson calms down (RSL destroyed me tonight) perhaps he'll realize that without House's need to solve the puzzle of H's H, Amber might have died alone, they wouldn't have had a chance to say goodbye, etc. House gave them time. Cold comfort, but it was something.

My heart hurts for House - he set the events in motion by making that call (or perhaps by choosing to drink as much as he did), but there were so many random things that could have made a difference. I'm trying to comfort myself (because he wouldn't want to hear it), that you just don't know what's going to happen, and you just have to do the best you can with what goes on. I guess that's part of the problem for House - there wasn't anything he could do. To be someone always in control, but no matter what he did, he couldn't save Amber for Wilson, and now it's Wilson's call, as to whether their friendship will survive. He's so very alone. so very alone.

I think I've stopped crying. I am tired of House almost dying. He must be bionic for his body to withstand so many death and near-death experiences. That has become a cliche for me. Nevertheless, the actors really sold it. The acting was incredible. HL, RSL and Ann Dudek all deserve nominations for this and, in my eyes, wins. And Katie Jacobs has come a long way as a director. In the past I've felt her weakness was her tendency to fall in love with certain scenes or bits and, because she's normally the person who tells the directors that their pet moment has to go. So some of the other two episodes she directed were a bit self-indulgent. I didn't see that tonight. I thought her directing was tight and effective. I could have done without two montages -- waiting and then the goodbyes -- but I understand why they were there. 13/Hadley - I think she's going to quit the team now that she knows she has Huntington's. As she's only in her 20s, she probably won't develop the disease for a decade or more but, when you know your life is short, do you want to spend 2 more years of it working for House? And I loved the scene when House followed her into the bathroom. This episode was so emotional, even that tiny bit of comic relief was welcome. As heart-wrenching as the Wilson/Amber things were, what really set me off was the final bus scene when House said he couldn't get off the bus because "It doesn't hurt here. And I... I don't want to be in pain." And, on a technical note - Season 4 is over. There are no Season 4 spoilers anymore so you don't have to white them out. (Season 5 spoilers need to be spoiler-barred.)

Which is unfortunately so very far away, Poeia. :( GUHHHH.

So House would have had a Vicodin overdose then? And the episode would have been a drug-induced hallucination? Actually, I'd love to see an episode of that and not have it be like "No Reason." Well, actually, I was just making a general statement on life being a crap shoot. Things are just random, there were so many "what ifs" in this episode - their physical positions could have been reversed and Amber wouldn't have gotten her kidneys destroyed or if she just got back in her car and drove over to House's apartment to drop off his cane instead of getting on the bus with him.

I'm expecting a lot of Wilson-is-a-bastard-and-doesn't-really-love-House fic I'm already seeing that everywhere. His girlfriend JUST DIED!! If you want to be technical about it at least he did check on House, as someone else pointed out upthread the ducks didn't do that. Maybe part of the reason that House blames himself is because he wished to be rid of Amber, and now it's happened. Or that he sees it as another way that he's had a destructive influence on Wilson's life.

Really? I'm expecting a lot of Wilson-is-a-bastard-and-doesn't-really-love-House fic Really? Cool! PM me which authors you read. :-) I don't really believe that, but I definitely get into moods where I want to read it, just as an antidote to all the "poor martyred Saint Wilson" fics I end up running into. If she had come to pick up someone else and ended up in a crash and died, would he feel that they would deserve to be hated? Not in the least, because the distance of objectivity would allow him to see that no one was truly at fault. I think House more than proved that he is willing to be there for Wilson in this episode. I think the thread of House changing his diagnostic style for Wilson's sake showed that more clearly for me than the brain stimulation, if only because I was spoiled on that and was expecting it.