4.16 Wilson's Heart

Wilson saw it as the only way to be sure they had done everything for Amber while at the same time he was with House to be sure everything was done to protect him. But during the procedure when House asks for the voltage to be turned up, Chase objects because of House's safety--Wilson looks pleadingly to Chase to have it turned up. I don't think his focus there is House's safety--he's totally focused on Amber. Can't agree with that. It's a balance, a tricky one to be sure, but it isn't one over the other. We are all in agreement that the procedure had risk and danger for House, as not doing it had risk and danger for Amber's possible recovery. If Wilson had made the request to increase the voltage against House's wishes or even pressured House to agree to more voltage, then you would be right to say he was disregarding House and just totally focused on Amber but he didn't do that. Again Wilson is following House's lead, House asks for the voltage to be increased not Wilson. Chase doesn't want to, but like Cuddy (who obviously at this point approved) he probably doesn't like the idea of the whole procedure, yet he is doing it, because he also knows what House is capable of acheiving with it. House knows what's needed and Wilson asks that they only do what House has requested/agreed to and no more. Wilson doesn't push beyond that and House is right, it gets him where he needs to go. Yes it causes a seizure but that's not unlike the Alzheimer drugs in H's H stopping his heart and that is something House did not only without prompting but without telling anyone first. But it got him the answer he had to have and he was revived. In medicine there is always risk when you do almost anything and there is often risk in doing nothing, the key is will the possible benefit outway the danger and here it was clear that both Wilson and House felt it would. Both Wilson and House had plenty of time before going in the OR to think about what Wilson asked House to do and what House agreed to, neither changed their mind and during the procedure the person who was in charge was clearly House. At anytime House could have stopped everything but he didn't, he went further, because at that point I think knowing for sure was just as important to him as it was for Wilson even if the reasons might have been different. Wilson was looking for the lost symptom and nothing more. House wanted that and it seems to me once he was in there he wanted even more to know for certain what had happened that night and what his part was in all of it. Since then they had a hypothesis about what was wrong with Amber and also had a treatment plan, even if they hadn't started that plan yet. Wilson stopped that plan from being acted on when he asked House to undergo the stimulation procedure. House did this because Wilson asked, not because he thought it was required at that particular time. As far as I understood the treatment was going forward but they wouldn't warm Amber up until they were sure they hadn't missed anything else. I find it hard to believe that anybody who has watched House would think he was so pliant in Wilson’s thrall that he would do anything Wilson wanted even if House thought there was no merit in it. Where was this House during the Tritter arc when Wilson screamed at House to take responsibility for what he did to the cop so Wilson wouldn’t have to suffer? Hell where was this House when all Wilson wanted in Sex Kills was to have a simple conversation about what he was going thru in his crumbling marriage? House has turned down Wilson plenty of times in the past when what he was being asked he simple did not want to do. If House truly didn't want to do this, especially if he really believed that Wilson didn't care what happened to him and only wanted to get an answer that wasn't even needed for Amber, even if Wilson had begged him House would have had no problem in saying a simple, no I won't do it. And it wouldn't have been the first time he told that to Wilson.

I find it hard to believe that anybody who has watched House would think he was so pliant in Wilson’s thrall that he would do anything Wilson wanted even if House thought there was no merit in it. Where was this House during the Tritter arc when Wilson screamed at House to take responsibility for what he did to the cop so Wilson wouldn’t have to suffer? Hell where was this House when all Wilson wanted in Sex Kills was to have a simple conversation about what he was going thru in his crumbling marriage? House has turned down Wilson plenty of times in the past when what he was being asked he simple did not want to do. If House didn't want to do this even if Wilson had begged he would have had no problem in saying a simple no I won't. This is the House from Mirror, Mirror who knows that many times Wilson is dominant in their relationship--not always, but some of the time. And this is the House who this season has acknowledged to himself how much he loves Wilson. The Tritter arc was a messy situation where House was as much wronged as wrongdoer and his solution of ignoring Tritter was not any worse than Wilson taking Tritter at his word that he meant the best for House. Wilson had his own share of getting that ball rolling in Meaning. House is House and he's not going to have little heart to hearts like Wilson wanted. But as he showed this ep, he's there for the life or death stuff for Wilson. When Wilson asked House to do the procedure, House tells him he doesn't think it's necessary--he's not pushing to do it for his own needs. He does it because Wilson wants him to, as he altered his DDX process all along because Wilson wanted him to. We saw House override his own thoughts on what to do in favour of Wilson's for the whole ep. He fought Foreman on the subject. This ep did not show a House who just did what he wanted, and the hell with everyone else.

Yes, I would. I'm dead either way, and frankly I would want the chance to say good-bye, to kiss the ones I love and have them hold me one last time. To touch and cry and love and just be... for a little while longer. And to tell them to remember me in happiness not in sorrow. But unlike House, I do "believe" so death is not as empty a place for me. Yes, and I can definately see that way of thinking. Thinking about it, it would be better to say goodbye if you have regrets or if you have left things unsaid to certain people. It would also help the people you are leaving behind, knowing how you really felt. I too believe there is more than this life so ceasing to exist is not a fear of mine. I guess, I was just thinking that there was so little notice and she could have gone blissfully unaware that any of it was happening and I didn't know if she would have made that choice for herself. I think it's important that when making a decision like that, you are aware of what the person wants. I find it hard to believe that anybody who has watched House would think he was so pliant in Wilson’s thrall that he would do anything Wilson wanted even if House thought there was no merit in it. Where was this House during the Tritter arc when Wilson screamed at House to take responsibility for what he did to the cop so Wilson wouldn’t have to suffer? Hell where was this House when all Wilson wanted in Sex Kills was to have a simple conversation about what he was going thru in his crumbling marriage? House has turned down Wilson plenty of times in the past when what he was being asked he simple did not want to do. If House didn't want to do this even if Wilson had begged he would have had no problem in saying a simple no I won't. WORD. I do think it was a great thing that House did and I have no doubt that a lot of it was for Wilson, but I've seen House risk his life for stupid reasons so much this season, that it took some of the impact away from me and he has consciously shut Wilson down before even while perfectly aware at how much he was hurting him. As for the increasing electricity, House is the one who started that, Wilson wasn't simply urging Chase to go further and further. He did not go past the boundaries that House may have had. And one more thing on the Amber vs. House issue. When Stacy was around, I have no doubt that she came before Wilson. Wilson didn't become his numb3r one until Stacy was out of the picture, IMHO. I don't resent House for that and it doesn't mean that he didn't love Wilson then, it was just different with Stacy, just like it (was) different with Amber.

As for the increasing electricity, House is the one who started that, Wilson wasn't simply urging Chase to go further and further. He did not go past the boundaries that House may have had. The point I was addressing, though, was that Wilson was there to make sure House was safe during this dangerous procedure. I don't think we saw that dynamic. We saw House willing to go into dangerous territory to make the procedure work, Chase argue that it wasn't safe and Wilson throw Chase a pleading look to be allowed to ratchet it up. He wants the procedure to work. He's not thinking of what's safe for House. Neither is House at that point. And one more thing on the Amber vs. House issue. When Stacy was around, I have no doubt that she came before Wilson. Wilson didn't become his numb3r one until Stacy was out of the picture, IMHO. I don't resent House for that and it doesn't mean that he didn't love Wilson then, it was just different with Stacy, just like it (was) different with Amber. We never saw this put to the test, so I'm not at all sure House would have asked Wilson to risk his life for Stacy. House's relationship with Wilson certainly predated Stacy, he was involved with all Wilson's marriages, including the ones pre-Stacy, so I think Wilson has been House's number one for many many years. I also believe House loved Stacy dearly, and we'll never know if he would have asked Wilson to risk his life for her, but I don't see anything to suggest he would. Risked his own life for her, yes. Asking someone is a different thing altogether. One place we do agree is that in this ep, Wilson is valuing his relationship with Amber over his relationship with House. Which is not, in any way, a crime or unbelievable or anything like that. But I think it did change the way House viewed their relationship--and mine, unless I see something from Wilson realising what he asked. The fact that House has survivor's guilt on top of his pre-existing self-worth issues will mean he will accept any blame Wilson gives him and probably pour more on himself besides. But that won't take away his knowledge of what he learned about their relationship when Wilson asked him to do that procedure.

This is the House from Mirror, Mirror who knows that many times Wilson is dominant in their relationship--not always, but some of the time. And this is the House who this season has acknowledged to himself how much he loves Wilson. The Tritter arc was a messy situation where House was as much wronged as wrongdoer and his solution of ignoring Tritter was not any worse than Wilson taking Tritter at his word that he meant the best for House. Wilson had his own share of getting that ball rolling in Meaning. House is House and he's not going to have little heart to hearts like Wilson wanted. But as he showed this ep, he's there for the life or death stuff for Wilson. When Wilson asked House to do the procedure, House tells him he doesn't think it's necessary--he's not pushing to do it for his own needs. He does it because Wilson wants him to, as he altered his DDX process all along because Wilson wanted him to. We saw House override his own thoughts on what to do in favour of Wilson's for the whole ep. He fought Foreman on the subject. This ep did not show a House who just did what he wanted, and the hell with everyone else. Being the dominant one in the relationship doesn't always mean getting your way as the H/W relationship clearly proves. House's doing nothing about Tritter except waiting for him to go away was in fact a shambles. It not only caused Wilson all his problems when he did nothing, but against his better judgement try to protect House, (dominant player giving in) it gave House psychological pain and sent him further down a road of worse dependence on his Vicodin. Wilson didn't take Tritter at his word that what he was doing was best for House. (ETA, he eventually went back on the deal becasue he felt House was more important to "the world' then he was.) At the time Wilson made the deal because House was out of control, on the verge of unnecessarily dissecting a patient in half and punching Chase for telling him he was wrong, he had no alternative. Meaning interestingly was an example of House proceeding with a treatment when he has little to no rational reason to expect it to work. Wilson fearing more of the same with likely dangerous outcomes withholds the truth, a mistake to be sure, but it is not what started the trouble with Tritter. House's inability to try gentler pain killers as the ketamine wears off is what truly sets him off on his srip forgery and even after Wilson offers House his meds again and when House learns the truth of his medical success he continues to abuse the scrips when at that point he should have been able to regain his self-confidence in his ability and comfort in the fact that he would have the meds he needed if not all he wanted. Listening to Wilson at the end of his third marriage would have helped Wilson through a lot of pain that he was going through, the most emotional pain that we have seen Wilson in prior to W's H. It was not some frivolus request to get touchy feely. But House wasn't willing to even try to do that for him and simply walked away. House altered the DDX and erred on the side of caution not only because of Wilson who was obviously an influence, and by the way as Amber's only "family member" he has the right to veto treatment that he thinks is too risky, but as we saw in Euphoria when the patient was Foreman a close attachment to the situation changes House's approach. That is what allows Wilson to have influence here. In that case it was Wilson who said that if it was any other patient House would have already been slicing into his brain and despite that truth House didn't change his approach and went searching for a definitive answer which he eventually found rather then agree to Foreman having brain surgery. When Wilson asks that House have the DBS House says it isn't necessary but when Wilson explains why he feels it could still hold the key to a better chance of Amber recovering while at the same time agreeing it is a risk for House, House consents instantly. House knows what is being asked, he knows why it is being asked both emotionally and medically and now agrees it's the right thing to do probably for both reasons and through out the procedure House, not Wilson, is in charge the whole way. We saw House willing to go into dangerous territory to make the procedure work, Chase argue that it wasn't safe and Wilson throw Chase a pleading look to be allowed to ratchet it up. He wants the procedure to work. He's not thinking of what's safe for House. Neither is House at that point. Could it be that House thinks Chase is wrong and that Wilson would rather follow House's lead and not Chase's? Both House and Wilson want the procedure to work because they both want the answers they hope to find. To pretend that the answers are only for Wilson's benefit and not something that House also needs, even if he's afraid to face them, is to ignore House questioning himself for the whole episode about all that he can't remember regarding the night, his time with Amber and the accident. If the treatment they were giving Amber didn't work and she died, without the DBS House may never have known the truth. It was for his benefit as well. When we left House he was not harboring any bitterness towards Wilson. He wasn't fearing that Wilson didn't love him as much as Amber he was fearing that Wilson would hate him. That doesn't sound to me like a person who felt that Wilson unwarrantedly pushed him to do something that he regrets or resents. YMMV and We'll see.

Would House quantify Wilson's request to do the procedure as a measure of his own worth to Wilson? In my mind the answer is no. I'm not suggesting House is an automatron but he can distinguish desperation and impulsive irrationality from a pre-existing plane of loyalty and love. Perhaps if one sees his constant tests of Wilson's friendship as more than surface games, then yes Wilson made a choice. But House places great esteem in the risk; I think he prefers when people go with the challenging, difficult path to get the answer, as when his team drugged and tested him during the blood transfusion or even when Foreman plunged the needle into Cameron. He might chalk up Wilson's request to that biological imperative Wilson was going on about in a previous episode. In this case Darwin made Wilson choose. (I'm kidding here.) I'm so deeply interested to see how this will all be resolved in season five. Their relationship is so knotted in puzzles and mazes.

Wilson goes to check on House. Seeing that Cuddy is with him and that House is awake he knows that House will be alright. But he can't go to him now. He's exhausted and bereft, he goes home to collapse and grieve. Totally. And Wilson may blame House at first, but he'll come around. I hope that it will be because House proves to Wilson that he's willing to do whatever it takes to be there for him at the beginning of S5. I think House more than proved that he is willing to be there for Wilson in this episode. From WAY back, but I just wanted to say that I completely agree that House had proved himself willing in W's H. What I was trying to say is that I hope that THAT is the reason that Wilson comes around. I have a (possibly irrational) fear that TPTB will add some extra anvilicious story arc to get the H/W friendship back on track. House tracking down the LLB, for instance, would probably fall into this category for me. Who knows... perhaps it could be done well, but I'd just prefer a slow and gradual return of the closeness. There might even be a sort of epiphany moment (with a hug, please) but I want it to be about House and Wilson coming to terms with each other and everything they've been through together on a very personal level, without a lot of outside factors coming into play. I suspect I'm still not explaining this very well. :oops:

When we left House he was not harboring any bitterness towards Wilson. He wasn't fearing that Wilson didn't love him as much as Amber he was fearing that Wilson would hate him. That doesn't sound to me like a person who felt that Wilson unwarrantedly pushed him to do something that he regrets or resents. YMMV and We'll see. I could not have said it better myself. House had proved himself willing in W's H. What I was trying to say is that I hope that THAT is the reason that Wilson comes around. While I'm not onboard the Wilson hate/disgust train on asking House to do the procedure, I do think that at some point Wilson needs to acknowledge what House did for him and be able to appreciate it. And I do think he will because I have no doubts their relationship will survive, RSL has not point on the show without Wilson's friendship with House. Oh and they totally need to hug, that is my goal for S5. House's relationship with Wilson certainly predated Stacy, he was involved with all Wilson's marriages, including the ones pre-Stacy, so I think Wilson has been House's number one for many many years. I should have been clearer, I'm not arguing that House would ask Wilson to risk his life for Stacy (I can't say that for sure one way or the other) I'm just saying that I believe for the time he was with Stacy she was the most important person in his life (coming from someone who doesn't even like Stacy) I think Wilson came second to Stacy and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, it doesn't mean that House didn't love Wilson. I can buy that during this time House came second to Amber, but again, that doesn't mean he doesn't care about House.

At the end, when Amber told him you can't always get what you want, House gave the same nod he gave when Wilson asked him to do the procedure. And then, there was no hesitation, he just immediately got up and walked off the bus. That lack of hesitation just seemed to emphasize what that conversation had been about - He was going to be in pain and miserable and Wilson was going to hate him, and he deserved it, so just get up and face the music. This is what I was trying to put into words earlier. It's not about choosing life, it's simple recognition that "you can't always get what you want" isn't a lyric but a law of physics. You can't choose life if you don't also have the option of choosing death and if you don't understand that you have that option. But when the universe has declared that you're going to be in pain and you're going to be miserable and you don't get to rest and you don't get to be happy, then, as Boffle said, "that's all there is". You can't argue with the universe. When death means rest and peace and freedom from pain, but your gut tells you rest and peace and freedom from pain is a pipe dream, then death itself becomes a pipe dream, something you can long for but don't think you can reach out and grasp, because the universe has declared that "you hurt, therefore you live". And kicking and screaming against Fate just makes it worse, so you might as well just get up and go on as best you can. That's what I saw in House's "choice" to leave the bus: not a choice, but the acknowledgment that he had no choice (at least none that he could conceive of).

I should have been clearer, I'm not arguing that House would ask Wilson to risk his life for Stacy (I can't say that for sure one way or the other) I'm just saying that I believe for the time he was with Stacy she was the most important person in his life (coming from someone who doesn't even like Stacy) I think Wilson came second to Stacy and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, it doesn't mean that House didn't love Wilson. I can buy that during this time House came second to Amber, but again, that doesn't mean he doesn't care about House. I'm not sure where Stacy stood in relation to House and Wilson, because I didn't see it--Wilson was very involved in their relationship when she returned, so I suspect he was very present when they were together. However, I agree that whatever fall out there is between House and Wilson, that Wilson definitely cares about House. I'm not on a hate Wilson bandwagon. I do think it is or should be significant that Wilson asked House to risk the ultimate sacrifice for him at the same time as he showed House that he valued Amber more than him. And House did. Filex, I have a very different interpretation of the Tritter arc and Meaning, but we should probably leave that to another thread :D . They tend to engender long involved discussions in their own right. On WH, When Wilson asks that House have the DBS House says it isn't necessary but when Wilson explains why he feels it could still hold the key to a better chance of Amber recovering while at the same time agreeing it is a risk for House, House consents instantly. He doesn't consent instantly. He looks at Wilson for a moment and then carefully asks if Wilson thinks he should risk his life for Amber's. Wilson says yes, House looks down and exhales and swallows, and then he nods. From that moment on, he's committed to this action. But I think that was a loaded moment for House. Could it be that House thinks Chase is wrong and that Wilson would rather follow House's lead and not Chase's? House doesn't argue that it isn't dangerous. He says that as long as he's risking his life, he may as well get a talkie (ratchet up until he gets the full memory). He's willing to go into obviously dangerous territory because he's now committed to this action. Wilson is not over-riding House here. But I see nothing to suggest he's there to protect House or that Chase doesn't know what he's doing.

I don't hate any of the characters and I don't know of any hate Wilson (or House) train here. It's a messy situation, choices were made that will impact their lives, and they will have to deal with the consequences of those choices. House chose to live, as hard as it is for him, and Wilson chose Amber, as much as he clearly has always cared about House. As jair said: He doesn't consent instantly. He looks at Wilson for a moment and then carefully asks if Wilson thinks he should risk his life for Amber's. Wilson says yes, House looks down and exhales and swallows, and then he nods. From that moment on, he's committed to this action. But I think that was a loaded moment for House.

I don't think anyone here is suggesting that House didn't really want to do it, that he wasn't really willing and Wilson overwhelmed him into agreeing anyway. Whatever his reasons, House was willing -- but that's not really the point. The point is that, regardless of House's answer, the outcome, whether the surgery even took place or not, the very fact that Wilson asked throws their relationship into a new light, and House will have to look at it in that new light. We can disagree about whether the new perspective is positive or negative, but either way, House (and hopefully Wilson as well, if the storytellers don't start dropping threads) will eventually have to deal with that change in perspective. If it's not being said that House wasn't willing to have DBS (I'm not sure about that) it is being said that Wilson was choosing Amber over House by making the request and I think that is incorrect. Also that House realizing that to be the case felt defeated and resigned to doing what Wilson wanted even though House thought there was no reason to have the procedure and that Wilson was unconcerned about the effects on House and only focused on what might be learned to help Amber, I disagree on all of that. It's interesting Bedawyn that you say the request itself puts the relationship in a new light. I'm not sure what you mean by that, I'd love to hear what you think. I think what the request showed was that for the first time Wilson had two people that he cared for, loved and wanted in his life. If you believe, as I do, that in Spin Wilson is recalling House when he says, "I met someone who... made me feel... funny. Good. And I didn't want to let that feeling go.", then Amber has now been shown to be the only other person that Wilson has ever felt that way about. That doesn't mean he was chosing between House and Amber. He was trying to hold on to both of them and the one that was in greater danger of slipping away was Amber and the one that could give her the best chance of surviving was House but Wilson didn't want to and wasn’t sacrificing one for the other. The fact that Wilson felt that way about someone other than House could in itself have changed their relationship I guess in a way it already had but only minimally. Wilson had said that by allowing him to see Amber in House’s mind he was risking losing Wilson. That dark spin seemed to be at least part of what House was in when he went off to drink alone. Inadvertently by doing that and then calling for Wilson to come and get him the only other person that Wilson loved like House was lost. Wilson's request for the DBS could have cemented in House’s mind that he had already lost Wilson being there for him in the way he had always counted on in the past. But for me there is just something a little too selfish in that to believe at this point that is what House will take from this tragedy. Prior to the episode my thinking was a bit different. I thought that Wilson would either ask House to have the procedure or not prevent others from pressuring House to have it and that House would come to see that as a betrayal on par with Stacy having the surgery on his leg done when she knew that she was going against House's wishes. I thought that betrayal could have House shutting Wilson out like he did Stacy and that only Wilson’s loss and grief might be able to alter House's response this time. That may still happen. What I didn’t know then was the circumstances of how H/A happen to be in the bus accident. Clearly no one is to blame and if any one of a dozen things had happened differently not only would Amber be alive but probably neither of them would have even been on the bus. However, at the end of W's H House is blaming himself, fearing that Wilson will blame and therefor hate him and thinking that if he does he is right to do so. No thought to Wilson having asked him to have DBS, House's reason for doing it and how he feels about it now. Not even that the fact that House went through with it should negate any hate or ill will Wilson might feel for him. This could alter and my original thought could come to pass but I think what may instead happen is that House might start to look at what responsibility he does have, not in Amber's death where it was all bad luck and circumstances, but in his life and the lives of the people around him. He says he doesn’t want to be miserable, he doesn’t want to be in pain, he doesn’t want Wilson to hate him. What is House’s part in his misery, his pain and whatever feelings Wilson will have now towards him and what if anything is House willing to try and do to change that. House has said that people can change they just don't. Maybe now we’ll see what House can do for himself and the people around him starting with Wilson and hopefully it won't have to include any risky surgical procedures.

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