4.16 Wilson's Heart

but for House, it broke right there I disagree, I think if that broke it for House he would not have been so terrified that Wilson would hate him. Sure, he'd still feel guilty because he did (inadvertantly) cause Amber's death and none of it is her fault, she was just doing something nice for her boyfriend, but he specifically said, "Wilson's going to hate me." "He's my best friend." (Note present tense here) and, "I don't want him to hate me." If Wilson broke it before that, I don't think House would be so torn up about hurting him and not want to go back to the land of the living partly because it would mean (at least in his mind) that Wilson will hate him, YMMV. My meaning, or what I'm trying to focus on and articulate, albeit inadequately, was that his assumption that Wilson would not put him in harm's way, even to save another person, that he valued him more than that, that there was a certain understood, unspoken caring and respect for each other, that they really were "bros before hos" perhaps, and that this request showed him that that was not the case nor perhaps had it ever been the case. What broke was his feeling of safety and trust in this person. He still cared just as much for his friend and, knowing this is how his friend felt, he managed to suck it up and risk his life to do what his friend wanted. He still fears Wilson blaming him, and has his own guilt for his reckless life spilling over and killing his friend's lover, that's absolutely the case. But it's not the part I'm suggesting was broken. More like an umbilical cord that has been cut, though that's clearly not the best metaphor... ETA: fixed the quotes. sigh.

*Group hug anyone?* im in! my heart goes out to Wilson and 13. That was the saddest thing I've ever seen. Loved House and Cuddy holding hands though. Did anyone else find it a bit ironic that Amber was adicted to diet pills?

to21b, I can't see how House could have known in those seconds after the crash that Amber's kidneys were destroyed. My take is that Wilson was partially correct in HH that House had wires crossed + (more likely) his subconscious was screwing up the message to his conscious mind that Amber was on the bus. MHO is that his brain was trying to tell him Amber's in danger and that she has the flu, not that she had antiviral poisoning. YMMV. Thanks Taiga. I'll go with that. Confused brain and a general sense that Amber is in danger. (sigh) I feel better now. Off to the fourth re-watch. :D Was anyone else as horrified as I was when Cuddy told Wilson to wake Amber up? I'm sure she was thinking of what was best for him, and maybe it would be what Amber would want to, but damn - would YOU want to be woken up just to be told you're dying? I can't decide. I definitely would want to be woken up, even for just a few hours. I think opinions will go in wildly different directions here, but I personally would want to be able to say all the things that I chose not to say before, like "I'm sorry", "I love you", "It makes me proud that ... (fill in blank)" and at the end of all that "Goodbye" and "Thank you for the good things". Maybe it depends on how much one has dealt with their own mortality during life, how much one has left unsaid and if there are any people around one cares for or who care for one.

I have been thinking about this quite a bit – which means this episode was one of those that sticks with you and keeps your thinking…. all night when you should be asleep! Re: The Deep brain Stimulation question. I think one has to also consider the basic personalities of House and Wilson into account. Wilson is a “fixer.” His SOP is to put his own happiness second to that of others. He is a bit of a martyr – as Amber picked up on and pointed out when it came to the water-bed. He has scarified his job reputation, and practice in part in efforts to “fix” House or protect him – The failures of his marriages are also due at least in part to the sacrifices he made for House. So I do not think it strange he would ask this of House. After all, it is something *he* would do…. he lives for “self-sacrifice.” House on the other hand…. doesn’t do self-sacrifice, which makes his agreement such a major deal. And speaking of House – He nearly killed himself a few hours earlier because he took too many drugs that stopped his heart – all in pursuit of an elusive “answer.” Then there was that small incident of sticking a knife in the light socket. No “possible” death there – that *was* probable and actually *did* happen, and there was that blood from the sick patient thing….so we are not talking about someone who has shown himself to be overly concerned about his own safety. And Wilson knows all this. He’s watched House’s self-destructive behavior for years. If House is willing to risk his life for things Wilson probably considers much less important than Amber’s life, why not ask him to risk it for something much more substantial – to save Amber, the woman your best friend happens to love? I don’t think it shows he loves House any less than Amber. I just think it shows he is desperate to save Amber’s life, and knows how House operates. I do not think he truly thinks it would kill House or even leave him brain damaged. He knows it is a risk – but it is a vague abstract “risk” whereas the Amber deal is right here right now. If he really believed it would be fatal, he would not have asked, and Chase would never have agreed. Something about that pesky Hippocratic Oath. Wilson is in a state of desperate deniability. He wants to save Amber, and has told himself House will be fine. He has to tell himself that in order to ask House to take the risk. However, under the circumstances, I find it completely believable. People who are facing the death of someone they love are NOT always rational and reasonable and do not “consider” things logically. They operate on a raw emotional level – which is why neither Wilson nor House should have been allowed to make this decision. They were both too emotionally involved. But had it been left up to someone else – it probably would not have happened and then we wouldn’t have had nearly such an intense ending! However, once things have calmed down, Wilson *will* have to deal with the fact that he *did* ask House to do something that was potentially fatal and very dangerous. And yes, as others have pointed out, that along with House’s self-blame will all have to be dealt with…angst ahead!!!!! Woo hooo!

And Wilson knows all this. He’s watched House’s self-destructive behavior for years. If House is willing to risk his life for things Wilson probably considers much less important than Amber’s life, why not ask him to risk it for something much more substantial – to save Amber, the woman your best friend happens to love? I don’t think it shows he loves House any less than Amber. I just think it shows he is desperate to save Amber’s life, and knows how House operates. I do not think he truly thinks it would kill House or even leave him brain damaged. He knows it is a risk – but it is a vague abstract “risk” whereas the Amber deal is right here right now. I totally agree with that. If only I could explain my thoughts and emotions in such a clear way. Just brilliant! I think it's normal that in the beginning of their relationship with Amber Wilson would choose Amber as the one he'd preferred to spend time together. And it's completely normal that after long ang happy union with Amber (I'd be glad to see this!) he'd rather choose his best friend - you know, go and watch baseball, have some drinks etc. But it changes nothing in the grand scheme of things.

On House’s reaction on his part in Amber’s death…In LTD he told the Soap stud, "We are all wildebeest dying in the mud." Not a sentimental outlook on death and dying just that it is inevitable and we are all doing it all of the time. Reflected again in H/A (actually H/SubconH) scene where he is told “Everybody dies.” On the bus House says it shouldn’t be random because he feels guilty but he knows that random is exactly what it is (as does Wilson). That I think will help House deal with his guilt because if he just operates on guilt he won’t be of any use to himself or Wilson. I sense some confusion in the jumping off the plane vs getting off of the bus metaphors they are not the same thing they are the opposite. Jumping off the plane was the act of leaving behind what you don’t want, job for SS, life of pain and misery perhaps for House, but House says it’s stupid, meaning despite everything you go on. Getting off the bus is the opposite; going back to life, even if you don’t want to because it’s miserable, painful and your best friend may hate you. And so again House goes back to life because that is what you do. House’s death wish as been especially prominent this year, he has wished for awhile now that he was staying on the “bus”. The reason he hasn’t actually gone through with it seems to be for the one person that he doesn’t want to hate him, who is also the one person to whom he said this year I love you, Wilson As Wilson deals with his loss and grief I think it will be even more significant for him what he asked House to do and how unhesitatingly House did it. House at this point doesn’t seem to feel it was too much to ask, not in the wake of what happen to Amber. If it had turned up no new information, if House is damaged somehow, if Wilson will not eventually respond to him, then perhaps House will feel betrayed by Wilson. But since it did serve a purpose, even if it couldn’t fix it, and since I think House will be alright and Wilson will eventually come around, I think House will feel it was reasonable under the circumstances. It doesn’t mean that Wilson loved House less but that Wilson felt this was necessary and House agreed which is why he suggested it in the first place. Yes, they were treating Amber but I think both Wilson and House knew that it was likely they were still missing something and so now together they would go after it. Wilson saw it as the only way to be sure they had done everything for Amber while at the same time he was with House to be sure everything was done to protect him. He did everything he could to try and have both Amber and House, the two people he chose to have in his life and that he never wanted to choose between. Remembering that no act is completely altruistic. Did Amber go to pick up House instead of finding Wilson for him because she didn’t want to send Wilson to House in a bar of all places? There may have been a small remnant of the custody sharing in her decision to go and deal with House herself. Was anyone else as horrified as I was when Cuddy told Wilson to wake Amber up? I'm sure she was thinking of what was best for him, and maybe it would be what Amber would want to, but damn - would YOU want to be woken up just to be told you're dying? I can't decide. I don’t know the answer to that question and I hope I never do. It does play a into the would you want to know if you had a fatal disease question that faced 13. With the knowledge that she now has, how does she go on living her life knowing for certain that at some point she will be stricken but never knowing when it will happen? Does it free you to live your life or cripple you?

Was anyone else as horrified as I was when Cuddy told Wilson to wake Amber up? I'm sure she was thinking of what was best for him, and maybe it would be what Amber would want to, but damn - would YOU want to be woken up just to be told you're dying? I can't decide. Yes, I would. I'm dead either way, and frankly I would want the chance to say good-bye, to kiss the ones I love and have them hold me one last time. To touch and cry and love and just be... for a little while longer. And to tell them to remember me in happiness not in sorrow. But unlike House, I do "believe" so death is not as empty a place for me. :)

In the lastest chapter of "A Gentle Knock", zeppomarx uses the perfect phrase for what Wilson and House were faced with: “Choix cornélien", An impossible choice. Either decision by either party will have consequences.

Okay, I just have to mention this because I have now seen similar coments in at least three different places. Strangest criticsm of this two-parter: The idea that the whole thing doesn't work because there is no way House or Amber would ever ride *a city bus*!!!!! OMG! They were on a bus! A city bus! The suggestion being that the only people who would ride a *city bus* are some kind of degenerate subhumans. Amber and House would never mix with *their* kind... Good grief. What a bunch of elitist crap. :roll:

The only thing that makes possible their relationship to continue was the sacrifice that House did. Do you mean you think that House owes sacrificing his life to Wilson and if he had refused to risk his life, he would be the one breaking the friendship? I don't view their friendship that way. I know Wilson was desperate to save Amber but the only person he could view as owing it to him to sacrifice a life to save her was himself. I think it will change their friendship if what Wilson tells House at whatever point they deal with this, is that House owed their friendship taking a risk with his life. House can offer, but he doesn't owe Wilson that kind of risk. The grey area for this situation is that Wilson asked at a time when House didn't feel it was necessary and didn't offer. Of course, the other grey area is that he wasn't 100% sure of his diagnosis because of the missing 4 hours. But he still registered that Wilson was willing to ask his life of him. I do think that exhalation was House processing that. If Wilson doesn't need to process that, himself, then this friendship has fundamentally changed to me, to a more superficial one. Wilson saw it as the only way to be sure they had done everything for Amber while at the same time he was with House to be sure everything was done to protect him. But during the procedure when House asks for the voltage to be turned up, Chase objects because of House's safety--Wilson looks pleadingly to Chase to have it turned up. I don't think his focus there is House's safety--he's totally focused on Amber.

I do not think he truly thinks it would kill House or even leave him brain damaged. He knows it is a risk – but it is a vague abstract “risk” whereas the Amber deal is right here right now. I agree that he doesn't think it would absolutely kill House but that shows me more that when he asked this of House, he hadn't thought about the likely consequences to House's life and health and he has thought about the benefits for Amber: what he's thought about tells me what he cares about. Because House is still functioning despite his pain and injuries, Wilson is allowing himself to be blind to the risk to House because he is so desperate to save Amber. It's compelling because he has to choose whether or not to ask this of House very quickly, and he does. A person can offer to risk his life, but to be asked? Wilson's sure this is what he wants from House and he asks for it. Now it's not Sophie's choice, as he's not sure either one will die as a result, but it is a harsh choice and he is asking it of House when House thinks it's not necessary. And in the end it wasn't. When Wilson asks that the stimulation be turned up, he wasn't thinking about House or the possibility that House would seize or die, but what House might be able to do for him and for Amber: he was there to hear what House might remember that could help him save her, not to protect him. (or, what jair said in the above excellent post.) ETA: I'm not saying this wasn't a difficult choice for Wilson, there is indeed grey area throughout, but he did have to choose between them and what he chose will affect them both, just as House's reckless lifestyle inadvertently combined with other circumstances that resulted in Amber's death. I'm not suggesting either is an angel or a devil: they are both ordinary mortals faced with the choices that will lead to life or death for their loved ones and what they choose, in those moments of difficulty, will have consequences because each now knows deeper truths about the realities of who they are.

But during the procedure when House asks for the voltage to be turned up, Chase objects because of House's safety--Wilson looks pleadingly to Chase to have it turned up. I don't think his focus there is House's safety--he's totally focused on Amber. I don't know about the power question. Wilson turns it up an additional 2 volts. Is that a lot more?

I do not think he truly thinks it would kill House or even leave him brain damaged. He knows it is a risk – but it is a vague abstract “risk” whereas the Amber deal is right here right now. I don't agree that it was a vague abstract risk. The procedure itself is dangerous and it is more so with a cracked skull, as Cuddy pointed out to House in front of Wilson. The word she used was "fatal." Obviously, it wasn't 100% sure of a fatal outcome, but there's no way it wasn't very dangerous and House's seizure and subsequent worsening of his fracture to the point of coma was a very foreseeable consequence. House doesn't fight Cuddy when she says no, and Wilson agrees he shouldn't do it. Amber's deal is right here, right now, but they had a diagnosis they were going with that looked correct, and Wilson didn't know it wasn't. He just wanted to be as sure as he could before they warmed Amber up. He was willing to risk House in order to be sure. And House made sure Wilson knew that was the deal before he said yes. We never saw what it took to persuade Chase to do the procedure, but since he wasn't the one persuading House, he won't have the issues to face about it I hope that Wilson does. I don't know about the power question. Wilson turns it up an additional 2 volts. Is that a lot more? Chase didn't want to do it, it's going to House's brain, we saw the higher voltage make his lips shake and he did seize from it, so I would say, it was a dangerous amount more. When Chase balked, House said that as long as he was risking his life anyway, he may as well get a talkie (for a picture show).

When Wilson asks that the stimulation be turned up, he wasn't thinking about House or the possibility that House would seize or die, but what House might be able to do for him and for Amber: he was there to hear what House might remember that could help him save her, not to protect him. Yes, I agree with that. House did not come first with Wilson then. I also think that on some level House knew Wilson wasn't concerned, or as concerned with House's life since he said something about his volunteering to do the brain stimulation had been earlier when he was trying to remember. Since then they had a hypothesis about what was wrong with Amber and also had a treatment plan, even if they hadn't started that plan yet. Wilson stopped that plan from being acted on when he asked House to undergo the stimulation procedure. House did this because Wilson asked, not because he thought it was required at that particular time.

View Full Version: 4.16 Wilson's Heart