4.16 Wilson's Heart

Lully, that's a great point about "Family." Of course those parents didn't value one son over the other, I never got the feeling that they loved one more than the other. They loved them both but a death was impending and they were trying to make the best decision to prevent that, even though it was extremely difficult. I think that's a good parallel here. I don't think Wilson loves Amber more than he loves House. I agree that it was hard for him to even ask, it took him a minute to get any words out at all. At first he didn't want House to do the procedure but then what was killing Amber got worse because Cuddy and Foreman went behind their backs. Wilson was angry and growing increasingly desperate. Right now, Wilson is wrapped up in grief over Amber and I expect him to be that way for a while but I think eventually, he'll get just what House was willing to do for him and he'll be grateful, YMMV. Also, on an unrelated note, when House is having the procedure, my heart broke when he said to Wilson, "I told her to find you, have you pick me up." I don't know why, maybe he just sounded particularly vulnerable and childlike there, or maybe it just makes me think how differently things would have turned out if Wilson had been home, or maybe it's both.

Also, on an unrelated note, when House is having the procedure, my heart broke when he said to Wilson, "I told her to find you, have you pick me up." I don't know why, maybe he just sounded particularly vulnerable and childlike there, or maybe it just makes me think how differently things would have turned out if Wilson had been home, or maybe it's both. I felt the same way. For me, it started right after he said he called "dial-a-Wilson" (although I had to turn closed captioning on to figure that part out). When they cut back from the memory to him in the chair, House started to stutter, "I-I" but couldn't finish. Wilson had to fill in the blank that Amber had been home. Even if House still hadn't remembered exactly why she was dying, in that moment he remembered (not just knew it academically) that this was the point that set it all into motion. Another thing I noticed that was sad. At the end, when Amber told him you can't always get what you want, House gave the same nod he gave when Wilson asked him to do the procedure. And then, there was no hesitation, he just immediately got up and walked off the bus. That lack of hesitation just seemed to emphasize what that conversation had been about - He was going to be in pain and miserable and Wilson was going to hate him, and he deserved it, so just get up and face the music. eta: that was me asking for the Wilson and Cameron scene. I finally caught it, thanks.

I loved the "inside voices" moment too, but not as much as the "barely coherent" line or that moment when he was sitting down before Taub starts interrogating him. Although I think HH is a better ep overall, they did a better job this ep of conveying that he really is injured too, lack of blood notwithstanding. He was a long way from acting indestructible. I wouldn't go so far as to say that the risk of death for House was probable, but that the risk (given his already injured brain and general poor condition) of serious brain damage was probable and the risk of death very possible. And yes, House was willing to risk it, before Wilson asked -- when he thought Amber's condition warranted taking the risk, when they didn't have any other solution. But when Wilson asked, they DID have another solution, had a theory they were operating on and no reason to believe that theory was wrong. Yes, it was a theory without a lot of support, and yes, House and Wilson both know by now that House's MO usually involves being wrong several times before hitting on the right answer. So I'm not going to fault Wilson for not wanting to take it on faith that this time the unproven theory is right. But they still had the theory, they had other options at that point. He didn't ask House to do it when the discernable danger to Amber was at its highest point, but when it was at a relatively low point; when the "clear and present" danger to House was higher than the clear and present danger to Amber. Also, yes, I can understand why Wilson wants to think House is indestructible. But that doesn't mean he is and it doesn't mean I won't fault Wilson for it. He's not a child who can be excused for thinking Mommy and Daddy are perfect; he's supposed to be one of House's doctors. And this won't be the first time House has been harmed by that particular misperception of Wilson's. Personally, I think that ambulance scene, with Amber turning blue, was one of the best scenes in the whole series. She's TURNING BLUE and the doctors are sitting there chatting above her. Rationally, I know they had time, but we're kind of used to thinking that when someone's TURNING BLUE you take IMMEDIATE action. Someone a while back asked where the Cameron-Wilson scene is; it's at the start of a time-passes montage, immediately after the Thirteen bathroom scene. Blink and you'll miss it.

Yes! Amber does not mean more to Wilson than House does. The way RSL acted the whole scene, from the hand gestures, to the way he spoke the actual words, to the nod,showed exactly how much they both mean to him. You both said it perfectly. I need to comment on the postings a few pages back that the emotional impact was not diluted at all upon rewatch. Absolutely correct. Yesterday I was watching for the fourth time when the phone rang. I muted the tv but left the tape running.When I hung up, I turned back to the tv at the beginning of the last bus scene with Amber and House. I watched it without hearing the sound of their voices, their tone and inflections, or even the words themselves. All I saw were House's facial expressions. I felt like I had been hit by a bus. One thing I have always noted in every episode is the portrayal of House's pain. Even when it wasn't mentioned, it was shown by the severity of the limp, a grimace, rubbing the leg,etc. After so many episodes this season that pretty much ignored it, it was thankfully predominant in WH. He was doing things he shouldn't have in his condition, and we saw the cost on his face, his posture, his tone of voice, and even in how badly he was limping,especially in the scene where he walks to his desk. He was practically leaning his whole body over the cane. And after he sat down, almost collapsing in his chair, when he saw that Taub had followed him, he instantly wiped the look of pain off his face. I know it was obviously mainly caused by his head injury, I just feel that it was an important part of the episode, and we needed to see it. Ending on a completely shallow note, I loved the facial expressions of drunken House both in the bar and on the bus. Also that tiny shot of Amber and House smiling at each other after the bartender put the thought in his head that he was into Amber. Very nice. ETA: While I was slowly trying to figure out what words to use,Bedawyn and LMC said it much better!

To join the "things that hit us upon rewatch" club: What hit me is when Wilson said, "Why aren't you angry??" Wilson is the doctor most used to dealing with death, and he's also always been the calm, collected one. We've even seen House cry before. But seeing Wilson lose it, seeing Wilson be confused and just powerless in the face of death....gah.

Well, I guess if you got the impression is was "probable" that House would die from the procedure, I can understand more of the anger towards Wilson - but that wasn't the impression I got. I got the idea the procedure was dangerous and risky and COULD cause damage or death, but not that it was "probable" it would do so - only that it was possible it would do so. And like others have mentioned before, House isn't above risking himself for his patients, why not for a friend? When House proposes the procedure, Cuddy roundly vetoes it because of how dangerous it is, particularly in House's condition with a cracked skull, and House accepts that without arguing--I don't think we were supposed to think it was most likely going to be safe, with a small possibility of going wrong. When Wilson proposes House do it, House doesn't just jump up with a "Why didn't I think of that? Let's go!" He makes sure Wilson realises that he will be putting his life at stake. I'm actually not angry at Wilson, myself. I just think that Wilson, once he processes his grief about Amber, is then going to be able to fully appreciate what he asked and got from House--and that will require some processing, too. House has risked himself for a patient, but he initiated the decision. In this one, Wilson asked House to risk his life for Amber. House said yes, not because he was driven to do this procedure for himself, but to please Wilson. That's not the best circumstances to have someone do something so risky and actually be hurt. It adds yet another "what if"--what if House had died after finding out the missing piece of information? Would Wilson be comfortable with what he asked from House? I don't think we saw Wilson do that kind of thinking at the time, but I don't see how what he asked from House cannot factor into next season. However, I also agree very much with the folks who say that House forgiving himself will also feature largely. Somehow, though, I don't think House having the attitude that Wilson could ask him for what he did because House's life is worth less than Amber's is a positive one for the relationship. Maybe he doesn't think this, but the last scene with Amber suggested survivior's guilt is going to be a factor. Do you (and by you I mean everyone here!) remember Family? So, when the parents agreed to let Matty do all the tests and painful procedures to save his brother's life, they were actually proving that they loved Nicky more? To prove that they loved both of them, they should have let Nicky to die? Family actually highlights the part I think Wilson will struggle with. What the doctors wanted Matty to do was not supposed to have the risk of fatality (unlike what Wilson asked of House), and the parents agreed to it only on those terms. When the stakes went up in a way no one had forseen, and Matty actually had to sacrifice his athletic ability for his brother, the parents struggled greatly with that decision. The higher the stakes went, the more they struggled with what they could ask of one for the other. When House asked that the dying brother sacrifice himself for the brother who could still be saved, the parents refused. It wasn't a case of who loved who more, but of what is possible to ask one person to do for another.

What hit me every time? When House said he wanted to find Wilson and the last scene with H/A in the white bus was the only moments that I actually cried - yeah, I have no soul it seems... In the first one House was so dejected, so full of regret. He did sound like a small child asking for forgiveness. I loved him on that moment as I never loved him before. He set the wheels of fate to run in that moment and if he only could go back in time and fix that small action Wilson would have his happiness back. It broke my heart because it was so painful real, the little things we do everyday, without thinking, and that suddenly can change our lives forever. Haunting! The other one because, despite all his fears he faced the music. What is broken is broken, but there's always still some hope. And I loved that everything happened for an ordinary reason, nothing big or shocking. A sequence of unfortunate events that no one can predict. And I also think that once the grief diminishes Wilson will be able to understand House's actions - and the sacrifice that House did for him, which I think he already know. What I'm not so sure is if House would be able to forgive himself or even if he would believe that Wilson don't hate him. He usually puts the worst possible conclusion on everything. At the same time I always thought that this "test" would be a positive one for their relationship, I can see after some time, their bond becomes stronger than before.

The other one because, despite all his fears he faced the music. What is broken is broken, but there's always still some hope. And yet, I don't think House believes in hope. He's said it more than once. I think the extreme bravery of him going back is that he's going back when he has no hope. He's going back to do his job in the world knowing he'll be in pain, he'll be blamed, he'll blame himself and somehow he has to keep going, maybe even try to cause less pain to those around him, but still find a way to do it because that's all there is. I think doing his job is all he has (in his own mind) at this point and he may not be capable of doing it, at least when we first see him in S5. He could still be in that hospital bed unable to talk.

Amber does not mean more to Wilson than House does. The way RSL acted the whole scene, from the hand gestures, to the way he spoke the actual words, to the nod,showed exactly how much they both mean to him. I have watched that scene closely and it is, for me, the key to the possible shift in Wilson and House's relationship. When Wilson nods in response to House's question of risking his life to save Amber, House's reaction when he makes that sound/snort/laugh which I interpret as one of surprise and realization is heart rending. That at that moment Wilson chose Amber over House because it was a choice. I think that moment of realization was a emotional body blow to House. Yes, House had offered before, but that's different than being asked. Yes, he knows Wilson loves him, but it is different than the love Wilson has for Amber. It is the difference between the love of a brother or sister and the love of one's child. I found it significant....

House's reaction when he makes that sound/snort/laugh For me, that moment was when Wilson pushed it till it broke. On reflection and with further develoment it may be mended, but for House, it broke right there, just like, in terms of his assumption of devotion versus the other person's, with Stacy it broke on the rooftop.

When Wilson nods in response to House's question of risking his life to save Amber, House's reaction when he makes that sound/snort/laugh which I interpret as one of surprise and realization is heart rending. That at that moment Wilson chose Amber over House because it was a choice. I think that moment of realization was a emotional body blow to House. I didn't get any sound/snort/laugh myself, perhaps a faint touch of surprise that Wilson really is asking him to do this, along with a realization that if this is what's needed, it's what he'll do. I think it's possible to interpret that moment at Wilson putting Amber above House, but personally I interpret more as Wilson reaching for straws and believing that House is strong enough to do this -- that there is a risk, but that the risk of not doing it is even stronger. Think about it in terms of Wilson's specialty. In oncology you're constantly weighing the risks of flooding a body with poison and radiation in order to cure it. It's a risk that a strong chemo regimen will overwhelm a battered body, but sometimes it's the only chance there is because the cancer itself is too advanced or too strong. Wilson has practiced that brand of medicine for decades. It's how he thinks. It's his mindset. So in this, he's weighing the risks as well. Is there a risk to House? Yes, but not as great as the risk of making the wrong decision and warming Amber up without knowing for certain the correct diagnosis. And no, I am not comparing either Amber or House to a malignant tumor in this metaphor, just using it.

Family actually highlights the part I think Wilson will struggle with. What the doctors wanted Matty to do was not supposed to have the risk of fatality (unlike what Wilson asked of House) As I said in my previous post, this is YMMV situation, and every surgical procedure is a risky one. Or you can use Namaste example, which is a great one :) Personally, I saw Wilson struggling to keep himself together since the beginning of the episode, he was struggling to make the right decisions until he couldn't make any decisions at all. I saw a desperate man wanting to do something, anything that could prevent someone he loved to die. His last resource was House and he only could ask him that because he knew that despite all the risks, House would do it. In his mind, if he waited too long it could be too late, he wanted to make sure he had done everything to save her. He would never forgive himself, or House, if he didn't try that desperate measure. The only thing that makes possible their relationship to continue was the sacrifice that House did. I don't think House believes in hope. I do think that House has hopes, he expects always the worst, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't want to be surprised. He's human, and for all his self-destructive actions there's always a ketamine treatment...

Have not yet finished watching the episode! I have the slooooooowest connection ever! So, I am not able to fully comment, however I was reading Barbara Barnett' review http://blogcritics.org/archives/2008/05/20/183856.php and in one of the comments posted to the review, someone raised an issue I haven't seen discussed but that I find totally in character for House, re: House having more that one reason to agree with the risky brain thingy, of course, Wilson asking is a key reason but maybe not the only one, I think this will allow House to forvige Wilson's request because he can find logical need for it (not just emotional ones), any way here's the post (by Buds): House may have felt guilty on some level for Amber being on the bus without really knowing why (because of his amnesia) which may be another reason for him not treating Amber like a regular patient. I doubt that the only reason House agreed to the Deep Brain Stimulation was because Wilson asked him to do it. I think he himself wanted to find out what happened and why they were at the bar together that night. It being a puzzle, and him being him, he would risk himself just to find the answer. In the scene where he is hovering between life and death with Amber, I feel the thing that he was scared of most of all was that Wilson would hate him, and blame him for what happened to Amber. That seemed to the be the thing he feared most. and an extension on the above by blacktop I want to take up a point made above by Buds: I think that it is right to see considerable ambiguity in House's decision to undergo the Deep Brain Stimulation. I believe he had multiple reasons for doing it. Certainly there was the considerable act of love and friendship he gave to Wilson in acceding to his request. Both men acknowledged the huge risks of the procedure and House's agreeing involved potential sacrifice of his mental faculties and even life. But I think that an equally strong reason for his agreement was his fundamental drive to know, to solve the puzzle. Wilson's request gave House the opportunity for redemption through knowledge of the truth. Think of how tortuous the future would have been for House if he had faced Amber's death with only shadowy understanding of what had happened in that bar. These doubts would have eaten away at House's composure, his confidence, his relationships with Wilson and Cuddy, and possibly undone his sanity. Any thoughts, this sounds quite reasonable to me, it does not in any way disminish the impact of House's willingness to risk his life nor of Wilson's tortured decision to ask for the risk, but allows for that element of hope, Lully has been talking about.

he knows Wilson loves him, but it is different than the love Wilson has for Amber. I agree that it is a different love, but I don't think that makes one stronger than the other, just different. but for House, it broke right there I disagree, I think if that broke it for House he would not have been so terrified that Wilson would hate him. Sure, he'd still feel guilty because he did (inadvertantly) cause Amber's death and none of it is her fault, she was just doing something nice for her boyfriend, but he specifically said, "Wilson's going to hate me." "He's my best friend." (Note present tense here) and, "I don't want him to hate me." If Wilson broke it before that, I don't think House would be so torn up about hurting him and not want to go back to the land of the living partly because it would mean (at least in his mind) that Wilson will hate him, YMMV.

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